Tuesday, December 23, 2008

2 Months Old!!

So we had our two month check up yesterday. It went ok. And just ok. It was seriously chaos. We roll in there like a traveling freak show. Everyone stares and you hear the comments.. "look at that! THREE!!" Yes.. three.

The first strike we had going against us was that the appt was at 1:30. Well, as the timing fell that day, it was feeding time. So we got there with 3 hungry babies. They have to strip them all down for weights and measurements which the babies hate when they are not hungry and tired. Talk about screaming. We had to have one nurse doing the weighing and measuring, me and Jeff stripping them down and dressing them back up and two more nurses to help us feed them. I think we had half the office staff in that room with us. Yes.. I told you it was chaos.

Anyway.. the babies weighed in at:
Nate: 10 pounds 3 ounces
Ben: 8 pounds 11 ounces
Alex: 9 pounds 12 ounces

The Dr. was very happy with those weights.

The main point of the visit was to do the two month vaccination shots. We were really conflicted as to do the regular schedule or an alternative. We are really sensitive to these vaccinations as my sister has an autistic son and has some very strong opinions on the subject. So I promised I would proceed with caution. We did two shots. The HIB and.. of crap(save place I forget the name). We go back next month for a 3 month visit.

Now for the really fun part. Nate and Alex both had to have a stool sample test to see if they had this alleged slight milk allergy that Ben has. To get a sample, they had to stick q-tips in their little butts. Ok.. talk about opening the flood gates. Alex and Nate would NOT STOP POOPING. I went through 4 diapers each while we were there. Good lord! It was so nasty.

Turns out, Alex did test slight positive too. But because he is not screaming through his feeds like Ben, she doesn't see the need to put him on the Nutramigen formula. Nate was fine.

So Ben.. he is still screaming through his feeds. We were told to up his Zantac to four times a day and add Levsin drops for the pain. This should reduce the stomache spazems. We'll see. If we see no change by tomorrow.. Christmas Eve, they are going to call in Previcid. I have a feeling that is what will be happening tomorrow. Sigh.. he is no better. To listen to your child scream like this through eating is just to much for me to handle. I can't even feed him. I make Jeff do it.

On a more positive note.. Kim and Lisa came to baby sit for us last night. Me, Jeff, and my mom all got out of the house for a couple of hours. It was bliss! Me and Jeff went for sushi! My first since before the pregnancy! Then we went to BW3 and just sat and played trivia and drank beer for a couple hours. Again.. Bliss!

Love those ladies!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Worlds worst blogger or busiest new mom. You decide!

I can't believe how I have neglected my blog. I can only promise that it means I am not neglecting my new duties of mom to triplets.

This is Work. And with a capital W.

Things have been a little crazy in the Johnson house for the last couple weeks and not all for the best. Here it goes:

Nate

Well..on Dec. 3rd, we were changing his diaper and noticed a 'boil' or 'cyst' for lack of what to call it on his rectum. It was nasty looking. Like a pimple with a pussie head (sorry to gross you out). I rushed him to the pediatrician's office (where I had to wait and wait and get pissy with the staff, but that's another story) only to have a different Dr. come in and look at it and within 2 seconds told me I needed to rush Nate to the hospital to see a surgeon. Ok. What? You just made me wait an hour and a half to see someone when I explained what the issue was and the first thing you say is get to the hospital to see a surgeon? Um.. WTF?????????

Well.. turns out they couldn't find the surgeon so my pedi ended up lancing it in the office to send it out for a culture. I almost passed out watching them perform this procedure on my 6 week old infant. Not a great moment. So to make a long story short since I am a deadbeat blogger, Nate has an anal fistula that may need to be surgically removed. It has gone away twice but it's come back twice too. So if it's still there as of our next visit with the surgeon on Dec 30th, we'll schedule the surgery.

Other than that, he is a WONDERFUL baby. Happy.. sweet...smiling.. easy.. sleeps..eats..and as of Dec. 16th weighed in at 9lbs 14 ounces!! So I am sure he is over 10 pounds now! He is strong too. Always pushing with his feet and lifting his head up. He is truly a momma's boy! He is the quickest to calm to my voice. All I have to do is pick him up and say "momma's here" and boom. No more crying. It melts me every time that I have that effect on a child.

Ben

Ahh Ben. Here is where my life is really complicated. Ben has developed reflux and it's killing all of us. He's miserable. He had been congested for awhile and was having some trouble with his feeds but I thought it was due to the congestion and that he couldn't breathe through his nose as he ate. I let that go on for like 3 weeks. Then he got so impossible to feed, I couldn't take it anymore. My mom and I no longer wanted to feed him because we were all ending up in tears. So I finally broke down crying to my pediatrician that this was more than congestion. We brought him in and she did stick a tube up his nasal cavity to be sure it wasn't blocked which would have meant a sinus surgery. It's not. It's like a cold that we get. Thank god. Not that it makes it easier to hear. She also took a stool sample and it came back with a mild positive for milk allergy. Translation?

She is treating him aggressively for reflux and milk allergy. He is now on Zantac and we had to switch his formula to a hypo allergenic one. Oh.. and the kicker? It's $25 a can. And we still need to test the other two boys to be sure they do not have this same tendancy on the milk. If I have to put all three of them on this $25 a can formula, I am going to die. It will cost us like $500 a month to do so. That means I'll also be going dairy free to make sure they can still eat my breast milk. And.. this formula smells and tastes so bad I feel guilty for making him drink it. I will be feeding this child pizza and chicken nuggets till he is 18 to make up for it as soon as I can.

In the meantime, it is still heart breaking to hear him feed. Or cry. His cries are horse right now. I guess it can take a few days for the Zantac to work so we're hopeful anytime now. This just has to make him feel better. Some feeds he does ok and doesn't cry much. Others... ugh. But the good news is that he is eating that nasty formula and wiping out his bottles so I know he's hungry and not rejecting food.

On the good also.. he is gaining weight like wild fire so there is no failure to thrive in my future *crossing fingers*. He weighed 8 pounds 6 ounces on Dec. 16th. He has more than doubled his birth weight just like Nate! He is also smiling and doing his tummy time. I have to admit, we are more comforting to him than the other two boys and he ends up in bed with us alot more. I'll do whatever I have to to make him comfortable at this point. He was also the reason I bought a Moby wrap this week. So I can carry him around next to my heart and make sure he's ok.

Ah... the tears start again..

Alex

No drama here. Finally! He is still spitting and has had a few projectile vomitting incidences over the last two weeks but it's nothing that my pediatrician doesn't think is normal. We moved him and Nate to Gentlease formula. Hoping this lighter broken down formula is easier on their stomach. Again.. we still need to do the milk allergy test on them too. Alex is a great baby also! He is probably the best sleeper of the three. He goes down the easiest and sleeps the longest. He also loves to eat. Not quite as much as Nate, but dang close. He too, was over 9 and a half pounds at the weigh in and probably weighs 10 pounds now. But he carries it different. He's long and lean. My string bean!

One thing about Alex.. he's the loudest! Holy crap does this kid have lungs! When he's mad, the whole house knows it! But he too.. calms at my voice and melts into me. Have I mentioned I love being a mom? He's also probably the most alert of the three. Always looking.. always talking and making noise. Always smiling when prompted. Pushes off with his feet and we swear will be rolling soon! Scary thought!

Anyway.. that's the quick and dirty update. I must run. Someone is crying.

The boys get their 2 month shots tomorrow. Stay tuned for that post! Yikes!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Today is the triplets due date!!!!!

And they are 6 weeks old already. Holy crap. Where does the time go?

Here is what they are up to....

(more coming soon)

And.. I am a dead beat blogger once again. I was supposed to update this almost three weeks ago now. And when your days fly by like they are all 5 minutes long, alot can and has happened in three weeks so I am just going to leave this with a couple things.

The boys weights on their due date was perfect. Nate and Alex were both 8.5 pounds. Sure glad I didn't have to vaginally give birth to them! Even Ben was over 7 pounds. Perfect! They have really been doing great with weight gain. At least a half pound a week since birth!

I got the "all clear" from my OBGYN to resume normal life. And some of you can understand that that means I can have SEX again! YAHOOO!! It's been 9 long months since the IVF got started. I am kinda nervous! My whole body is different. Jeff tells me every day how much he loves me and that he thinks I am beautiful, but it's hard not to look in the mirror and be disgusted right now. I've never been a skinny mini but I've been fit and I've always managed to look decent in my clothes. I will never have a flat stomache again unless I have a tummy tuck. And I am worried I will have to buy all new clothes when I go back to work. Something I neither want to do nor can I really afford to do right now. My shoes don't even fit me right now! And sadly.. neither does my wedding ring.

I can only hope I am still "swollen" and these things will come back over time!

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Happy Anniversary to Us!!


Wow.. 3 years ago today, we got married!

I can't believe how much things have changed in these three years. It really is mind blowing. And even how much they have changed since last year. Last Thanksgiving, we were technically supposed to be going to the UP to spend the holiday with my family but we had to cancel due to our first IVF schedule. I couldn't leave town. That whole week as a cluster F*ck. That cycle was a cluster f*ck.

And look at us now! 3 years, and 3 babies later. Who would have thought? Here's a wedding pic for fun!

As luck would have it, today is also Thanksgiving! Originally, our wedding was the Sunday after Thanksgiving, but we knew our anniversary would fall on the holiday quite often over the years. At least I know I'll be getting a big dinner and champagne! My sister and her husband and two kids are coming over today. That's it. Oh wait.. Jeff's aunts are supposed to stop by also. So there will be company.

Have I mentioned that I did not sleep last night? The babies kept me up all night. It was one of those nights where they were tag teaming. One would go down, another would get up. Finally after the 6am feeding, I did my feeding and handed the torch to my mom so I could seep for about 3 hours. I think I got three hours. I am hoping to get some more zzz's after the 1pm feeding before the company comes. But hey, at least I showered and washed my hair! I am ok with falling asleep in my turkey. That's what this day is about right? Food and sleep?!?!

Anyway.. the babies are doing FABULOUS. They were weighed by the home nurses on Tuesday and came in at:
Nate: 8 pounds even
Alex: 7 pounds 12 ounces
Ben: 6 pounds 6 ounces

AMAZING!! They are also out of preemie clothes! My due date is Dec. 2 so they are right on track! BIG BOYS!!!!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

4 weeks old!!

WOW.. how the time flies. I just cannot believe the boys are already 4 weeks old! And I have become a deadbeat blogger!

I have NO time. Ever. We are still feeding the boys every three hours. It takes at least one hour to do this. And if someone is fussy or not feeling like going back down to sleep, it can take alot longer than that! So it's a constant rotation of sleeping, changing and feeding. And whoever is the dope that said "sleep when they sleep" obviously did not have triplets. After each feeding, I pump. After I pump, there are a myriad of things to do. Such as: shower, eat, clean, laundry, run an errand, take the dogs out.. and god forbid if I have to leave the house. It's an event now.

We had the visiting nurses come this morning to do weights and measurements. My pediatrician suggested we try to get this done this way as opposed to having to bring all three out to the Dr's and pay $20 copay for each boy just to get them weighed. Which they have to be due to their preemie hood. And drum roll please.. today the boys weighed:

Nate: 7 pounds 3 ounces
Alex: 6 pounds 14 ounces
Ben: 5 pounds 11 ounces

They have all gained almost 2 pounds since birth! They finally weigh as much as normal babies almost!! It's funny because they are starting to feel huge to me since they were SOOOO tiny when I had them and brought them home. Remember, Nate and Alex were barely 5 pounds and Ben 3 pounds 10 ounces when they sent them home! So a 7 pound baby!!?!?!?! WOW..... I am so thrilled!

One thing we are not thrilled with is that the boys were denied for Synagis shots. The RSV shots. Unreal how they can deny 33 week birth triplets. But apparantly since my husband and I are smart enough to NOT smoke a pack a day in the house, they are to healthy. Good lord.

The boys are definitely developing personalities too. As certainly noticeable in their sleeping!

Alex is soooo layed back. Also known as the A- man, Alexander the Great! He sleeps, he hardly cries.. he's alert, he's a total sweetie. His only issue at all is that he spits alot while feeding. It had me worried a bit that he may have some reflux issues but the Dr. says no. It's normal. I know I know... but I worry! And he's CUTE. oh boy.. soooo cute! He is a dream baby!

Nate is demanding. Also known as Nate-Dog. Natey. He eats like a dream. Takes his whole bottle and doesn't spit at all! Soooo easy to feed. But when he wants to be fed? Or when he doesn't feel like being in the crib? Watch out! He will let you know. He is the total stereo type baby that when you pick him up, he completely stops crying. Take him in bed with me? stops crying! Sleeps like a dream! He is also alert and loves to look around. Mostly though.. he loves to hear my voice. When I talk, he is in a trance and calms down. I am his mommy for sure!

Ben, AKA.. Benjamin Buttons, Benjamin Bunny, Benjamin-jamin. Small by mighty! He eats really great to but is the middle of Nate and Alex. Doesn't spit as much as Alex, but not as clean as Nate. Somewhere in the middle. Also just like his identical twin, Nate.. when he wants to be picked up or out of that crib, you know it! He is very vocal! But Soooo alert for a little guy! He sleeps almost as good as Alex and better than Nate. He is quickly gaining on his brothers in weight and it's so funny to see how much he is really starting to look like Nate!

So I need to get some pictures up. Jeff is gone for work now but they are coming soon!

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Tribute to the NICU







Some shots of us in the NICU. They were even decking them out for Halloween!

Anyway.. I always knew from the start of my pregnancy that my babies would end up in the NICU. It's a scary thought. No one wants their child to start life like that. But with triplets, prematurity is inevitable and thus, the NICU is as well.

As I posted before, I did not get to see my babies until they were 32 hours old. I was horribly upset about it but knew there was nothing I could do. As much as I wanted to see them, I was way to sick to even try. When I was finally rolled into the NICU that Tuesday night, I was of course, over come by the emotion of seeing them for the first time, but also finally relieved that I knew they were in a fantastic place. Even though my babies were only in there for 8 days. I really loved going to the NICU to see them.

I am sure it's the case with all NICU's or at least, I hope it is. It was just such a calming and serene environment. I felt safe and taken care of in there!! The lighting, the sounds, everything. The nurses who took care of my babies were seriously angels on a mission. I would just sit back and watch them not only with my babies, but with all of them and I am now convinced there is no more noble job in the world as to care for these sick infants. To be there life line and love when their parents are not there. Talk about having to put trust in people? I trust my husband with my life and these women ran a close second.

One experience I had in there second night I was there (babies were 2 days old) is something I will probably never forget and will forever remind me of how blessed we have been:

Our hospital is huge. The biggest in the state. They divide their NICU up into pods A - F. A being the least sick babies who are mainly there just for a quick observation trip and F being the most severe and critical cases. Each pod can house about 10-12 babies at once. My boys spent their time in pod B. While we were there, my 3 boys occupied the isolettes on one whole outside wall of the pod. Directly across from them was a little girl in an isolette. I knew she was girl due to all the pink blankets, clothes and little toys surrounding her in her isolette. I went to the NICU 2-3 times a day so I kept seeing the mother of this baby girl. She was a very pretty middle eastern looking girl about my age. And she looked completely run down. Torn up.. you name it. Of course, I was two days post surgery and looking big bloated, and in my hospital gown finery. That second full day up there, she spoke to me.

Are those your triplet boys? She asked me. I went over and said yes.. they sure are. She asked me how long I carried them and I told her 33 weeks, 6 days. She asked me about their health and I proudly bragged that they were all doing so well and how blessed we were because of it.

I asked about her daughter and how long she'd been in. She then told me that this baby girl had been in the NICU for a total of 10 weeks and counting. But they were encouraged as she had just been moved to the B pod. She also told me that this baby girl was also a triplet and the only one of her triplets that survived. Hers were born at 26 weeks and the other two were still born. She told me how lucky I was.

I could hardly choke out the words I was happy for her that their baby was doing so well and how beautiful she was. I had to leave the conversation. I ran into the pumping room and just burst into tears. I couldn't believe I just sat there saying how lucky I was to this poor women who was sitting there trying to keep her last triplet alive. The next day, the baby moved to the other side of the pod.

I know I had no way of knowing that women's situation, but it sure did remind me how lucky we are. And more importantly, it takes a special kind of person to be a NICU parent. Not the kind I was lucky enough to be: a short timer. But to be a NICU parent who has to dedicate months to that trip up to the hospital two times a day or so for an indefinite amount of time. It's all so beautiful and sad at the same time.

Even though we were only there a short time, a couple nurses asked me if I would be interested in being a NICU parent liason. That is, I will be a support/ coach to new NICU parents if I choose to do it. I really hope things calm down for me here at home cause I think this is something I really want to do. I just think these people are angels on earth and the parents who are in for the long haul might need someone like me to come cry with them or feed with them or whatever.






Wednesday, October 29, 2008

They are here!!!!!!!!!!!


































Whew... where has the time gone on me already? My babies are already 8 days old! I am just now getting back to life. A changed life.. but a better one. A new begining!

So the birth story. I am going to type it all out so I can remember the day years from now and share it with the boys..

I had entered the hospital on October 13 for a variety of reasons. I felt like crap. Couldn't move, horrid painful hemoriods, pelvic pressure, protein in the urine, massive endema (swelling), I was blowing up like a blowfish in general! Blood pressure was on the rise. My Dr. said.. that was it. Check in. I was 32 weeks 6 days and my Dr. wanted me to still hit 34 weeks before I delivered.

As I said in my previous post, I was miserable.. delerious! My dr. said if I thought I would be more comfy, I could go home. After all, the c section was scheduled for Wednesday so I should do whatever made me most comfortable. I left. We got home about 10 am on Sunday. I gave it my best, I really did. But by 7:00 sunday night, I think I was worse than ever. Jeff called Dr. V to tell him.. and beg him, to move it up to Monday. He agreed.

I got all checked in on Monday and they did one more urine test with lab work and off to the OR I went. Got the spinal block.. which I am sorry. Hurt like a BITCH. They get me all laid out on the table and next thing I know someone comes in and says.. she's full blown pre-eclamptic now and she needs another IV for the Magnesium!! Well, my Dr was like.. it's to late, we've started. They did put the IV in my other arm but they couldn't start the Mag drip now till I was in recovery. My heavy breathing continued a bit even with being numb from the chest to the toes.

The next few minutes really were magical for being half out of it on drugs. Jeff and I were hoping each baby would cry upon birth, but you never know so we didn't have our hopes up. Each of our 3 babies came out screaming!! Oh boy were they screaming!!! After my Dr. pulled them out, he handed them off and they were wisked into the room next store where the Neonatal teams were waiting for each baby. They cleaned each of them up and brought them into us just briefly. I can't remember to much but I remember thinking.. they are PERFECT. So beautiful. They handed each of them to Jeff very quickly and he held them down to me so I could kiss their cheeks and see them. They looked like little caterpillers in their cocoon. So so cute!

After the birth, I they went to work on me. We had long discussed the possible complications of the birth I was going to have.. blood transfusions due to excessive loss of blood is very common and sometimes a hysterectomy is necessary. I was ok with whatever they needed to do. I am told this part was fine. I just remember shivering and shaking and still not being able to breathe at this point.

Next I was moved to recovery, where all of the above symptoms just got worse. I was gasping for air so the next thing I know, they put an oxygen mask on me and I had the Magnesium drip put in right away as well. The rest is a morphine blur but I was consious and remember some of it. Basically, my heart rate started crashing. Normal is in the 80's and 90's. Mine was about 41. My blood pressure was shooting into the 200's making this a potentially lethal combination. They said I had a lot of fluid on my lungs and were getting very concerned about pulminary embalysm/ clots in the heart and lungs. It was here I knew something was really wrong with me. Not to sound silly but I remember someone dying on an episode of ER from a pulminary embalysm. I also remember the EKG machine getting rolled in and having that done and the two cardiologists....

It was like a scene from TV or a movie. There were literally like 10 Dr's and nurses standing next to me in recovery all staring at my vital screens with their mouths open. Jeff said at one point, my ob told him to go hold my hand and Jeff was like.. what??? Is this the end?? Then he got my mom out of the room too.

I was in recovery for about 5 hours until they moved me to a labor and delivery private room across from recovery. I was not stable enough to move, let alone to the post partum floor. My last treat to end the day was a trip to the CAT scan to make sure they could rule out the clots and whatever. They kept me there over night with one on one nursing care and a Dr. checking on me every 2 hours. I was woke every 45 minutes for vitals and what not. I had 3 freakin IV's at this point too. Oh my.. the holes in my arms.

By Tuesday morning, I guess I turned the corner cause I was so thirsty. I didn't give a crap that I had not eaten since dinner Sunday night: all I wanted to do was drink Lake Michigan. No go. I had to beg for ice chips and was granted. They were gold! But.. sadly, I still had not met my babies. I couldn't do anything.. mostly due to the magnesium drip. Finally at 5 that night, they said I could move as I wasn't critical anymore. They moved me on my bed to post partum and once I got up there, they let me eat some soup and drink water.. and.. get out of bed for the first time in like 36 hours!

Last but not least.. I had not yet sot to see my babies yet except for the 30 seconds in the OR. They were born at noon on Monday.. and here it was 7:00 pm on Tuesday and I was finally wheeled into the NICU. To say I was totally overcome by emotion upon seeing them is the understatment of the year. It was the most special and important moments of my life holding them for the first time.

So that's that. The birth story. I am doing fine, (ok.. except for the side to side incision that required 16 staples, the massive edema, and the fact that I still look freaking 8 months pregnant!) but I guess I have an abnormally low heart rate. I have always known I had low blood pressure if anything but I guess as with high, the other extreme can be a bad thing too. So, I do have to see a cardiologist now that the problem reared it's ugly head. As it has been since we started trying to have a baby in October of 2006, nothing has been easy. I tend to take the road less traveled. I mean come on.. who else do you know who's c section ended with an EKG, CAT scans, cardiologists...... yep, that's me! But, it was worth the ride!

More pics coming in the next day or so and I really want to write about our experience having the three babies in the NICU. But till then.. I have 3 babies to feed! YAHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

33 weeks and Counting


Well another week under the belt. Wait.. I couldn't wear a belt if I wanted to. I haven't measured my waist at all in this. I should. I doubt the tap would go around me.

Well, first of all we are in the home stretch. I got admitted to the hospital Monday night. I had so many things going on and my dr. was like.. pack your bags. First and foremost, the swelling was just to an alarming point It was already hard to walk and then my feet and my ankles no longer had separation. It's become increasingly hard to breath also. So those things on top of the carpo tunnel, hemmoroids, inability pretty much walk with the extreme pelvic pressure AND was hitting 33 weeks the next day. That was it.

Tuesday was pretty uneventful. They ran me on the 24 hour urine test.. AGAIN and all the labs 3 times a day. Blood pressure turned out to be way out of wack too. I was scoring any where from 126 to 152's. Really odd. I just could NOT get comfortable in this damn bed which was my big fear from the start.

On a brighter note, my mom arrived Tuesday night so it was great to see her. Good help Jeff and her living together in peace till I get home. They are both excellent people. My mom can be quirky I guess is the word. And I know she feels out of sorts moving into my house. Boy do we need her! Jeff was like.. she's been here for 2 hours and there are already Halloween decorations in the yard. Gotta love a mom.

I had thought a couple times over the last day or so that I may have pee'd myself. Well, it happened once yesterday and then after the second time it happened today, I mentioned it to my nurse. They promptly got me a pad and said they were not going to 'observe the output'. Lovely. Nurse comes back a few later and I was having a hard time catching my breath and I was on the monitors which were clearly showing contractions. She was like.. I am getting the dr.

She gets the resident. Next thing I know.. there are 3 nurses a doctor stripping off my pants in a hurry. Slap me down and I am getting basically a pap. They were thinking my membranes ruptured or my water was breaking. As she's in there the dr goes.. 'oh yes, I see some rupture and the fluid' ok.. as they are doing this, they stuck a bed pan under me and I can feel the fluid dripping out of me like crazy. So they had to take a sample of the fluid.

They run out. Not 3 minutes later.. my OB runs in.. ok.. now I am panicing. They paged him right away and he happened to be on the floor over in delivery. Turns out my sample was about 98% negative on the amniotic fluid but there were traces. So they don't think my membranes ruptured or a water broke, but that some fluid was trickling out. So I have to wear pads and they have to be checked every two hours and they moved me up to another ultrasound at 8 am on Thursday measure the fluid of each baby again. And.. instead of waiting till tomorrow, I recieved my first steroid shot immediatly Wed. afternoon.

Went in for the u/s first thing and the babies and fluid still look fine. Fluid was lower but apparently over the normal range. So it is so strange. I am still wearing pads and still leaking. Contractions have totally picked up. One every 10 minutes at all monitorings today and they are getting stronger. Got second steriod shot tonight.

So what will come first? The c section or the babies trying to escape? Any thoughts?

On a heavier hearted note.. today, October 16th is the 16th anniversary of my dad's passing. How I wish he would be here to meet his grandson's. This one is for you dad. I love you and miss you very much. Watch over all of us this week.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

32 Weeks and 12 Pounds of Baby.




Wow.. here we are.. another week in and another week at home. Here are some updated pics of "the belly". Good Gawd. Ok.. Jeff forced me into posting that top pic because he think's that gives the full effect.
I think I look like I shoved 4 pillows under a sheet and am ready for trick or treating. So I like to pull my shirt tight to give me some resemblance of a body. But, I am measuring 45 weeks now so what do I expect to look like, right? I give up..
Anyway.. we are only 3 days into the week and already I am over it. Monday I had to meet with my MFM. Immediately, he thought I was "puffy" and not in the P-diddy kind of way. The bad way. And my urine showed more protein that usual. I was a bit emotional as lets face it.. I ain't movin very good these days. He ordered me to do that @!#!&#^% 24 hour urine test again. OMG.. the bain of my existance. And.. to do tons of blood work and said he was officially sitting my Ob down to make some decisions (they work in the same office, same practice). I said he would like to admit me to do the testing. I was like look.. I have a $250 in patient copay. I am not getting admitted unless you plan to keep me for the duration. For $250 I can get a room at the Hilton with room service. So.. he agreed to let me go home.
So that brings me to Tuesday. It started at 1:00 with my bio physical profiles and growth and weight u/s. It took FOREVER and resulted in my panic attack and almost passing out at least twice from laying mostly on my back with the pressure of these babes. We were there for 3 hours. It was very difficult to get clear shots of all the babes due to their size and how intertwined they now are. They all passed their bio profiles immediately again (no slacking from Ben this time), however.. they had to re do the growth/weight on him 3 times and get the Dr's opinion before we could go. And.. of course the Dr. spent 45 minutes getting to us. We were a bit pissed.
So.. while I am told all the results were totally normal and everyone looks good, of course I am worried about Twin B. He is now a full half pound behind the other two. Fraternal triplet was 4.1, Twin A was 4.6 and Twin B was only 3.8. He is in the 15% percentile for weight. The Dr.'s and even my friend who just had twins had to remind me today that not all multiples are born weighing the same. Like Melissa said that her twins were over a pound different at birth.
Anyway.. I was a bit emotional and like I said, laying there for over 2 hours on my back literally just about killed me. But together.. they have hit the 12 pound mark now. After that, we had to race to the lab cause due to length of that, my pee was now almost 2 hours late and I was afraid I was going to have to re do that. They said they would still take it. So we did that and then did the blood work.
Next up.. race upstairs to my 4:00 with my OB. I was pretty much visibly a mess by this time so I got hugs from everyone and my Ob was like.. ok.. I can walk you over and admit you right now if you want.. I can see you're upset. They calmed me down and he agreed with the MFM, that I am puffy and my blood pressure is now hovering in the 130's which is still fine, but it is elevating. My cervix however.. is still fine.
So... at the end of it all we agreed to wait till tomorrow and see how all the bloodwork and pee comes back from the lab. If it is at all questionable.. I get admitted. If not, I can be admitted any second I want and we agreed no later than next Tuesday at 33 weeks and we'll pick the day for delivery. Today.. Ob called. All labs fine. I told him I was live another day at home. There are pros and cons to going into the hospital and staying home. Primary for staying home is my bed. I can move around, change positions on my pillow top king bed. I can't see that a small hospital bed is going to be where I want to be for two weeks.
So.. until something forces me in or I can't take it anymore. I am home.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

31 weeks 2 days...

Another week down and 3 to go.

And what a week it's been. I know we infertility patients are not supposed to complain about their pregnancies at all so if that is your view.. stop reading now! You've been warned!

I am having a really tough time. I have had several crying jags in the last few days due to how miserable I am.

*disclaimer*
I totally want these babies to cook for at least 2 more weeks no matter how miserable I am. Their health is THE most important thing in the world to me.

But just so I can remind them some day of what it took to get them here, I am listing my 'issues':

- The pulled/strained muscles from my uterus pulling and the babies moving all over
- The sciatic pain that wakes me up at least every 90 minutes while I try to sleep
- My teeth and gums are so swollen and sore I can hardly chew
- My carpo tunnel is coming back in both hands
- My pelvic pain and pressure is so bad I literally can hardly walk. Definitely not without limping and holding the bottom of my stomach, which is SO heavy on me now
- TMI... I have the worst hemmoroids. Ever.
- My entire body is just.. useless. Sore. I can't move.
- Sleep? forget it.

I firmly believe that it will not be the babies that put me into the delivery room, I think it will be the fact that my body is shutting down on me.

We did have our biophysical profiles and appt with Dr. V on Tuesday. We passed our bio profiles, although no thanks to Mr. Ben who really wanted to sleep through his this time. And my cervix and all checked out wonderful.

And even though I feel like shit, apparantly, all 4 of us are still doing amazing. I know he could see it on my face that I was about to lose it, as did the two nurses. He put his arm around me and let me know I am his star triplet mom. And not only am I doing everything I am told and cooking my babies like a rockstar, but apparantly I am a favorite of all the nurses there who tell me that I am a pure pleasure to work with. I was like what? Who? Me???

I am going to call the office tomorrow if this pelvic pain is still this bad. I am going to beg to be admitted next week after my 32 week check up if I am not before that. I also made him promise to deliver the babies before he leaves on October 24th. My 34 week mark is October 21. So I pleaded with him to please take care of us before he goes away. Or I'll be in the trunk of his car. Or in the loony ward at the hospital anyway.

So that's the update. I am thrilled that I have made it this far. I know I saw that on every entry but every week.. every day is sooo important right now.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Nursery is finished.. almost. And another trip to L&D






Here are some nursery shots...
We didn't really do a theme per say. We picked bedding that we like and built around it. We are both huge baseball fans but I didn't like the cartoon type look of the baby sports bedding that was out there. So we got a few vintage baseball pieces and hung them on the wall. We've got a really old Norman Rockwell lithograph that Jeff snagged at an auction that was just perfect for us. We haven't had a chance to have it framed yet, but it's on the list and for now, Jeff's got it stuck up on the wall. Then he manged to get a 1930's baseball mit which is hanging from the old bat made into hooks. So we'll keep adding to the room as we go, but for now it's a good start!
I meant to get this post up early yesterday however, I ended up in the freakin hospital again.
I woke up yesterday and my left side was so sore I thought I was going to die. It felt like I had pulled every muscle in my left side. And it was sooo tender when I put any pressure in one area. By later afternoon when my evening contractions started up, I was really in a world of hurt and went into L&D.
They checked everything (cervix fine, babies fine, contractions every 8-10 minutes). At the end of it.. they think that my uterus is pulling away from my body due to the weight and my body is fighting it. Not to mention that the 3 babies have basically all changed positions and the excess moving has put more strain on me. Has anyone had this happen? I just can't believe how much this hurts. Like I worked out for 10 hours and pulled every muscle in my body. I am now on full bed rest and we're going to seriously discuss hospitalizing me tomorrow at my Ob appt. Ugh... I think I am ready for that. I honestly can't take care of myself anymore!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

30 weeks!!!



30 week shots!
I did it!!!!!! Or.. I guess I should say that me and the 3 little monkeys did it!!!


We met our next really BIG goal. 30 weeks and 3 pounds + each!!!


I am really ecstatic about this. It's such a big milestone. We had another growth/weight u/s and bio physical profile appointment yesterday. It was great. The babies all still look just perfect and each of the babes passed their Bio profile in less than 5 minutes! This is really great considering that they give each baby 30 minutes to pass each of the tests and my tech told me that some don't pass till the 29th minute and they have to use outside stimulation. Not my monkeys! No one.. nothing can keep them still. Yes.. I am afraid of what they are going to do to us once they are on the outside.


Weights as of Monday, September 22:

Baby A: 3.6 pounds

Baby B: 3.2 pounds

Baby C: 3.8 pounds


I officially have 10 pounds of baby in me!


The only bad thing at the u/s was that they couldn't see my cervix. At all. They said it was more that they thought a baby was in the way then that it was gone. They called Dr. V and he said for them not to do the vaginal check and he would check me Tuesday.


Today we visited with Dr. V for my weekly OB appt. He checked the babies and my cervix. All wsa good. Again. Shock. I continue to be amazed that my cervix has held up this long. Dr. swears it is because the twins.. who sit very low.. are both breech and therefore, the pressure of having their heads down there is a non issue. He is now determined to see me stay out of the hospital till 32 weeks. I will be totally amazed.


On the flip side.. I can seriously hardly move. My whole body aches. The sciatic nerve thing is killing me. It wakes me up 2 or 3 times a night and makes walking really difficult at times. Sleeping is even worse. There is no way to get comfy so I usually end up sleeping in 1.5 to 2 hour intervals through out the day and night.


Of course it will all be worth it for 3 healthy babies who spend just a couple weeks in the NICU. And really, I can do this for 4 more weeks, right????? =)



Tuesday, September 16, 2008

28 and 29 week Belly shots

The first shot is 28 weeks. Next two are 29!












I just keep getting bigger!

We had our first Bio Physical Profiles today and they went awesome! All the boys got their 8 points in a matter of minutes. They are watching each baby to be sure their hearts and breathing are good, their hands and feet are moving, head is measuring correct and moves. It was so damn cute. At one point, I got teary eyed. It was cool that they kept the ultra sound thingy on each baby for like 10 minutes so you could really watch them. I felt like a spy into their world. ohhhh Soooo CUTE!!

Cervix is still holding steady at 3.68. No change from last week! yeah!! I avoid hospitalization for another day!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Precious Moments

One of the reasons I started blogging in the first place was to record my thoughts and feelings. Of course, when I first started, it was about our struggle to concieve. I needed an outlet for my thoughts and feelings. Ya know.. cause my husband, friends, acupuncturist, therapist.. none of them were enough! LOL.

Of course in the end, I had hoped it would be a place to record what was going on in my pregnancy too. Thank god it is!

Tonight was just to precious to me to let it go by without writing it out.

I cannot stress enough how active these babies have been today. Today is 28 weeks, 5 days. I have been getting kicked every which way but loose! All. Day. Long. I think today takes the cake! They have been kicking me in many places I don't wish to be kicked for sure. And I don't know how many times I have gasped out loud due to a mighty baby blow. I honestly have thought about 100 times today, these monkeys are going to surely break one of the water bags in there clear out of me today.

And it really hit me: I could have them any second. These moments of feeling them inside me like this could really be numbered. Don't get me wrong. I am miserably huge and it's soooo hard for me to sleep or walk or.. do anything. But I was so sad and crying tonight to think that if they are born tomorrow I would never feel another baby inside me again. And certainly not my 3 monkeys. So I just sat on my bed for like two hours, holding my tummy and feeling every little move they were making. Trying to soak it all up. This is the best feeling I have ever had. Ever.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

One year ago today....

Was a really bad day in my life. In fact.. one of the top three worst. It was one year ago today that Jeff and I found out that our second pregnancy was yet again.. ectopic.

We were suspicious from the start but were very hopeful as the the beta's were doubling perfectly. I went in for an ultrasound first thing in the morning and clear as day... there it was in my right.. and only remaining fallopian tube. My Dr. and I talked quickly as we knew what the most likely out come was going to be: Go directly to the hospital. Do not go home, do not pass go.. nope.. after the horror of the burst tube 9 months earlier, we were not going there again.

But I had one request this time since we caught it before it burst. Please please please do what you have to do to save the tube. Please do not remove my last chance to ever conceive again with out In Vitro. The Dr's agreed and said they would do all they could.

I came out of the surgery about 3 that afternoon to learn that they did not take my tube out. They took several masses of tissue that they had to believe one of which was the pregnancy. As happy as I could be in my anesthesia state, I was.

I slept all day Tuesday and went in Wednesday morning for a follow up to check my incisions. They also wanted to do a beta to be sure the pregnancy was gone and my HCG was on it's way to zero again. Because it wasn't 'urgent', I would get the beta the next afternoon. That was fine.
Later Wednesday evening, I came down with a splitting headache and threw up. Oddly.. it was exactly how I had been feeling the last couple weeks when I was pregnant. Something told me I still was.

Sure enough, I got the call about 4 on Thursday. My beta had almost doubled again. And the pathology reports all came back negative for pregnancy tissue. The baby was still in me. I was to report to the hospital first thing Friday morning. More surgery. This time, I was told the tube was coming out. It was to damaged to ever use again. Safely. I was just distraught, but I knew they were right. If I got pregnant again, I could be in this place for a 3rd time. I couldn't do it again. I just couldn't.

So they took my tube out and this my fertility and part of my women-hood. I know that sounds dramatic, but let's get real, it was a dramatic situation. I could hardly get passed that to morn the loss of yet another baby.

So that was one year ago today. Today, September 10, 2008, I am laying in my bed on modified bed rest 28 weeks and 1 day pregnant with triplets. Once again, the saying.. "what a difference a year makes" has held true. I kept trying to tell myself that last year at this time as it has held true for me before. It's hard to see through the fog to the light, so I try to be patient. It was a long 17 months to this place, but I am here. I am here with Jeff. But just because I am here, I certainly haven't forgot the road that led me here nor the 3 babies I lost on that road. I mourn them for sure. The "what if's"


But, in 6 weeks or less, Jeff and I will be parents.

We really really will.

28 Weeks

This is one of those milestone weeks that makes you feel a little bit better. Not a ton. But a little.
Had another level 2 ultra sound on Monday. The babies weighed 2.12, 2.7, and 2.9 so all and all I have almost 8 pounds of baby in me. Oh.. so that is why I am huge hey?

My cervix is also holding steady at 3.68. Dr. V was very happy with me this week. Even though I had my usual laundry list of complaints. Like.. my back is killing me, my tummy just kills at the bikini line when I stand cause the belly is sooo heavy. Belly is sooo hard when I stand I feel like it's constantly contracting or something. But I guess not. I am fine he says. Since I made it to 28 weeks and have not been admitted to the hospital again, he was like.. let's get crazy and shoot for 30 now! Sounds like a plan!

My MIL and step FIL came for the weekend. I think she felt bad about the whole crib bitch sesssion or maybe she felt bad cause I found out about it. Whatever.. she was clearly trying to make up for it. Took Jeff shopping and got us a bunch of stuff.

I also got a wonderful box in the mail the other day from tripletmom from the Mulitples board. Bundle me's for the trips car seats this winter and some fabulous premie boy clothes that were oh soooo cute! Thanks Kelly!! LOVE IT!

Last but not least.. the boys. They are still moving around like little monkeys. Holy monkeys! And the kick of all kicks so far happened the other night by........ my quiet one! Ben! That kick was so HUGE I gasped! It was unreal! By far the biggest strongest one of my pregnancy. Jeff also got to feel how Nate goes NUTS when I try to lay on my left side. It's non stop. He doesn't stop. I don't think Jeff believed me until he felt it for himself.

Ahh... the monkey love! This is the part of pregnancy that truly amazes me. I am soooo lucky!

Tagged!

I've been tagged! How fun! Thanks Rebekah!
http://to-infertility-and-beyond.blogspot.com/

Rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you
2. Post the rules to your blog
3. Write 6 random things about yourself
4. Tag 6 people at the end of your post and link to them
5. Let each person you have tagged know by leaving a comment on their blog
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is posted.

Ok.. 6 random things about me.. here goes nothing:

1. I've lived in 4 states: WI, MI, IL, FL
2. I wish I was young enough to be on American Idol
3. I once played basketball with Magic Johnson
4. I was once told by Disney recruiter that I'd make a great Princess Jasmine or Esmerelda if I was having trouble paying my bills
5. My knees are double jointed
6. I would rather work at Starbucks than my current job

ok.. I gotta figure out who to tag cause almost everyone on my list has been tagged already! Drat!

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

27 Weeks..

Wow.. I can't believe that I am really 27 weeks. I am soooo thankful to have made it this far! I saw my OB today. I have to go every week now as really.. who knows. He did an u/s on the babies and they were looking great. They had been relatively calm the last couple days, yet still pretty active. Calm for them! Dr. V says they are probably getting a bit squished now. I said.. they still find a way to kick the crap out of me! Love it!

I passed the 1 hour glucose test so no gestational diabetes for me! yeah!!!! I didn't gain any weight this week. After my 5 pound loss of a few weeks ago and subsequent gain of 2 of it back, I am back up to a total of about 35 pounds. I am fairly certain a good 20 of that is my stomach alone and the rest in my butt and thighs!

My cervix is also still doing well. Amen. I know these things can change in a matter of hours but it's good to hear at this point. I think once I hit 30 weeks, I *may* breathe a bit easier.

I am sooo big now. It actually hurts to walk. My stomach is just sooo heavy. It's always tight too which makes it hard to breathe. I think this is the babies trying to stretch me out for more space. I feel bad, poor things! I haven't had any stretch marks yet, but I think my time is coming FAST.
Leaving the house is a total chore. I am becoming a total shut in now. We had a ton of people in and out this weekend and it was waaaay to much for me. So... that won't be happening again. Sadly.

Hard to believe that I will be a mom in 7 weeks or less! Holy Shit!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

26 Week pics!



Yikes. How much bigger am I going to get?

Oh well.. things are actually going really well this week. I had a level 2 on Monday and my cervix has grown! Almost back to 4cm! And... the babies all have hit 2 pounds now! I am so thrilled with this! They are 2 lbs, 2.1lbs and 2.2lbs! No wonder I am huge.

My Ob was happy with me yesterday too. He felt the cervix and concurred, I am doing great. I had to do the 1 hour GD test yesterday. After a weekend full of brownies.. humm..

The babies movement has progressed from just kicking to full on wrestling matches. They never stop!! But that is certainly better than the alternative! Go baby boys!!

Saturday, August 23, 2008

I Have a Nursery In MY House!!!!!!!!!


I honestly thought I would never see the day. Never. There is a bedroom across from mine and Jeff's that is now painted the most beautiful color of light blue my eyes have ever seen! This is a pic of the nursery in progress...



Ever since the day we moved into this house, that room was going to be the nursery. Then.. it was going to be nothing. Or just stay the guest room. Forever. But now.. finally.. it is going to be a nursery! To THREE babies!

Jeff painted it last weekend. Last night, our cousins were over and we all went out to dinner and cousin Scott so graciously helped Jeff carry up one of the cribs and the changing table. Jeff will start working on putting them together in the next day or so. We're both thrilled!

This week was largely uneventful. I saw the MFM/Peri on Monday. They did an internal and checked my cervix. He said it was fine. Still long and closed, although he also said it was softening. ugh. Even that scares the bejesus out of me. I talked to him about a variety of little issues/complaints I've been having such as: nose bleeds, trouble sleeping, pelvic/pubic bone pressure and the newest... movements. I felt the babies move for the first time at about 17.5 weeks. Then.. I didn't really feel to much until 19 weeks. Since then, I have no peace! In the last week or so, they have progressed from kicking and pushing to full on flipping and flopping. It is non stop. Jeff and I will just sit and watch my stomach move. It's really amazing. They are having a wrestling match, water polo, gymnastics.. something crazy is going on in my tummy!

This is all great of course. Active babies = healthy strong babies. However.. the twins sit very low on me and when they are engaged in this behavior, I literally feel like someone is about to fall out of me. It's scary! Every time I go to the bathroom, I think I am going to hit a foot or a hand! Gross I know.. but so true! They are NUTS IN THERE.

So I am trying to hold out until Monday. Monday I have another level 2 u/s and they will check my cervix again. Tuesday I see Dr. V. He will check for everything else. I am trying not to panic, but to rather be greatful for knowing that they are ok in there. Or at least.. I know their little hearts are still beating cause I sure know they are moving!

Unfortunately, I need to be selective now with when I go to Triage at Labor and Delivery. As of July 1st, they started charging it like an ER visit of which I have a freakin $75 copay. So I now owe the hospital for two of those and $250 for when I got admitted. This sucks and I can't let the money affect my decisions where the babies are concerned. But I'd be lying if I said the money wasn't going to be a factor from here on out. Ugh... I just hope my little guys can hang on for another 8 weeks.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Just Hangin Around..

Last Sunday was our last shower. Shower #4! Jeff's mom threw it up in Midland so it was convenient for his friends and family. It was not without some drama. But nothing involving his mother ever is. The shower itself was really nice. If only MIL would just learn to shut up and say nothing when she can't think of anything good to say. I could go on and on about her, but it's sooo not worth it. I just know I don't ever want to put my husband in the horrid position both my brothers are in thanks to the ignorant bitches they married (not that they aren't big boys and aren't at fault of their own) so Jeff and I just don't talk about it.

That said, we got great stuff! All three of our pack and plays!!! 3 Rain Forest jumparoo's (two are going back to the store), the final high chair, boppy.. lot's of goodies. Of course we still need a bunch of stuff. The unfortunate thing with having triplets are all the things you need multiples of. So instead of having a completed registry.. we have 3 pack and plays, high chairs.. you get my drift. Now onto finishing all my thank you's. I have already done them all from the first three showers except for a few where people sent me things and didn't make the showers. I have some addressing hunting to do. Let me tell you what a joy it's been to write out all these thank you's with carpo tunnel!

In baby news.. some significant news!

We had another level 2 u/s on Monday, the 11th. In the 13 days between this one and my last one, the babies have each gained 7 ounces!!! EACH!! They now all weigh 1lb 8 ounces!!! GO BABIES!!!!! Not only that, since they all weigh the same, there are no signs of Twin to Twin Syndrome in my identical twins! YEAH!!!! I have almost 5 pounds of baby in me already! If they cook as long as they should, I am will NOT be having small babies! Of course all this points to HEALTHY babies!

As for mom.. I actually LOST 2 pounds when I saw my Ob on Tuesday. I was like huh????? They gained a pound and a half and I lost 2??? How??? I did not fair as well at the u/s as the babies. My cervix went from 4cm to 3.58 in one week. Boo. I am still in the normal range, but I really do not want this to be a pattern. I hope there are no more decreases for a good few weeks now. I was exactly 24 weeks to the day when I went to the Ob and I was measuring 37 week! ACK!! I knew I was huge but geesh!!

Anyway.. I have been really hanging around the house for the most part. Glad the Olympics have been on to keep me company. I imagine that my babes will some day be in them too. LOL. One will be the next Michael Phelps, one will be a beach volleyball stud, and the third a track and field superstar! Hopefully they are all taller than Jeff and I. LOL

Saturday, August 9, 2008

My Boys

I wanted to take some time to really remember what is happening to me. Not the bad scary stuff which is what I feel like I can only focus on. The hospital premature labor shit. No. I want to remember the good things.

I feel them kick all the time. It really is the most miraculous thing that has ever happened to me. I feel them constantly. They are already letting me they are with me at all times. Giving me some peace of mind in this crazy race to the finish line I call a healthy delivery.

They are already developing personalities.

Alex, my fraternal guy is camped out on top of the other two. He lays just below my breasts really. By like 2 inches or so. I have nick named him Alex "the worm" Johnson. He is all over the place all the time! I will look down at my stomach and I can see where his little butt is sticking up! My stomach will look like I am the Hunchback of Notre Dame! Last night, I just sat and felt him flipping over and over again for like 20 minutes. It was amazing! He is always on top and yet, I could seriously see him moving last night and it was like he was trying to invade Nate and Ben's space by moving down as far as he could go. I told Jeff... there is a rumble for turf going on in there! Alex will be the ring leader. The instigator. The one who will stand up for his brothers. The one who won't let me forget he is here!

Nate gives Alex a run for his money! Nate lays on the bottom left. His head (or feet, which ever way he's facing on a particular day) lay next to Alex's head. I can just picture them in there having a fist fight and pushing each other out of each others space! Not only does he defend his space, he also makes his presance known! If try to lay on my left side, Nate has something to say about it for sure! I lay on my left and I get the crap kicked out of me! He HATES it when I try to lay like that. As if he's saying... get off me mom! You're squishing me! He will not be a wallflower that's for sure. He will always let me know when something is not right and speak up and he will be heard!

Ben is my quiet one. Just when I wonder how he is doing in there and that I haven't felt him kick for awhile... wham. He let's me know he's still there. As if to say.. don't worry mom. I am ok. All is good in here and they haven't pushed me out yet! Ben lays next to Nate on the lower right of my tummy. He also does not care for me trying to lay on my side. When I do.. I feel him kicking and then he'll stop as if to say.. ok I get it. Mom needs to sleep. And then I will lay there until the guilt gets to me and I can't squish him anymore. He is my peaceful baby. He will be the momma's boy, I just know it!

In a nutshell.. I adore these monkeys. I feel like I've known them all my life already. I can't wait for them to get here so we can start our lives together.

But I beg all 3 of them to just stay in the belly for another 10 weeks!!!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

In and Out of the Hospital

So it happened.. got admitted to the hospital.

I woke up about 2am Sunday morning and felt unbelievably 'tight' and short of breath. My stomach just felt rock hard. Earlier that day I had been having some sharp pains here and there but I was attributing that to gas and my lack of being able to go to the bathroom (sorry tmi).

Well, Sunday morning I still did not feel right at all. Still couldn't go to the bathrooms.. on and on. I called my Dr. and told him I was going in to Triage at L&D. He agreed and told me to get my butt up there. Sure enough, once hooked up to the monitors, I was contracting like crazy, but with no pattern. They manually checked my cervix and it did seem long and closed and I wasn't dialted. But.. then they gave me that FFN test for pre term labor and it was totally positive. So, I got admitted immediately.

They pumped me full of procardia to stop the contractions and kept me in bed. Yesterday I got a level 2 u/s yesterday to measure my cervix officially and it was still 4cm. So we were all happy.. but the contractions hadn't totally stopped.

Then I had a surprise..I have been b!tching for weeks about this carpo tunnel and my Dr. wanted me to see an orthopedic surgeon. Well, I just hadn't had a chance. Guess who pops in my room yesterday afternoon? The ortho dr! So at that point, they shoot both my wrists up with cortisone for the carpo tunnel. Ok.. I am a baby.. but that did NOT feel good. So they decided to monitor me one more night and watch me for any side effects on the cortisone shots. I am home now. Contractions have way slowed. My right hand is much better but still tingling and my left is only slightly better. But they said it could take a few days or not work at all. I am totally exhausted and my nerves are shot to shit. I had a few hysterical moments Sunday and monday which I am sure didn't help me.

These boys better cooperate with me for at least another 7 weeks!!

Saturday, August 2, 2008

22 weeks 4 days

That is what I am today. That and a bit sad. Jeff is up North without me for the weekend for a wedding of friends of ours. The whole group will be there of course. Except me. Me who cannot walk much farther than from my house to the car without getting winded. I cried this morning when he left. Of course I am so thankful for these babies and can't wait for them to be here. And they need to stay where they are for at least 12 more weeks. But to some extent, I now feel like a prisoner in my own body.

Jeff was really sweet about it and reminded me that I have bigger and better things to be doing today. Cooking our babies. My head knows this, it really does. But I can still be bummed out right? My day consisted of a couple moves from my bed to the couch and I did go out to CVS to pick up my folplex and Pad Thai for dinner. So I did leave the house for about 30 minutes.

I guess I should also update that we had our Detroit shower last Sunday. Kim threw it for us and it was just soooo wonderful! The food, the company, the gifts. All of it was just perfect. We got so many great things that we need. I think I am going to park in the basement tomorrow and start going through it. I know that will help get me back in the baby excitment mood again instead of being depressed about the fun things I am missing out on this summer.

I ended up in the hospital again this past Monday so that's been the cause of me taking it extremely easy now. I am not on bedrest per say. I was having a ton of pressure in my vaginal area so I was terrified that my cervix was going to crap. I got checked a million times and again on Tuesday. It was still long but a bit softer. So.. I am now the proud owner of Procardia, a preterm labor drug. The babies, however.. looked fabulous! They all weigh over a pound now! 3 more to go boys!

oh.. and the best note of all? I am DONE DONE DONE with work and do not have to go back there for a good 8 months! YAHOOO!!!!!!!!

Monday, July 21, 2008

20 Week Belly Shot


Yes.. I am getting HUGE!

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Shower Cake!


How stinkin cute is this? I've been referring to the babies as Donald Duck's nephews, so my sister took it to another level and made this shower cake for us!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Every week... A New Adventure

We just got back from the Upper Peninsula on Monday night. It was a great time. My mom, cousin and best friend threw me a baby shower. It was just beautiful. Really, I can't say enough about it. There were about 30 people and it was just the perfect size. My sister made the most amazing cake one could imagine. I have jokingly been refering to the triplets as Donald Duck's nephews, Hewey, Dewey, and Lewey. Well... they showed up on my cake! I will be posting lots of pics. It was all so amazing.

It's strange, but the whole time I felt like it was an out of body experience. Am I really having a baby?? Really? this is for me? I am so humbled. I got so many amazing gifts! And I have two more showers to go!

I also had another trip to Labor and Delivery this week. My feet swelling is just awful. omg. And the carpo tunnel no longer comes and goes. It just stays non stop. I am trying to get used to functioning this way and it's now easy. All my tests/labs turned out fine thank god. there was one mishap. My 24 Hour urine analysis. This is when you have to collect EVERY DROP of urine for 24 hours, put it in a jug and then lug it into the hospital the next day for analysis and more blood work.

After starting it Tuesday morning, I had to lug my jug of pee with me to the hospital and e ery where I went. They need to check my volumne output and for protein for the pre ecamplsia. It was a pain in the ass. Our only bathroom is upstairs and the pee has to be refridgerated. All that equals me going up and down my stairs a million times and a few during the middle of the night of course.

Yesterday morning when I finished, I had to take it to the lab at Beaumont drop it and let them take more blood. I park in the structure and get out. I go to get my pee out of the back seat, open the door and it fell out and spilled all over the ground. Ok. I realize this sounds gross and pretty funny. But after you've been hauling your fat ass up and downstairs for 24 hours and lugging that jug around the hospital.. it was anything but. I was totally sobbing.

Yes.. I cried over spilled piss.

So I am home doing it again today. I told work officially yesterday to take me off everything. I can't take it anymore. I will probably go in a couple times next week for a few hours, but other than that, I am done. I expect to be 100% done after next week. I woiuld say I am 75% done now and they know it.

Thank GOD. I need to be done with work!!!!!!!

Monday, July 7, 2008

Ugh.

Last week was very stressful. It began with me not sleeping over the state of my leave situation and just went from there. On that front, I finally did talk to our practice leader and he was a bit more receptive to the idea that I would not be punished for not coming back after 12 weeks. He was pretty cool about it and didn't blame me for thinking that way. And honestly, if they won't hold my job another 3 months. Fine. Lay me off. I'll take the unemployment. There are plenty of other places I can work. I am done with this worry.

I continued on with my worry for my ultrasound last Wednesday. Jeff was in Toronto and I was absolutely petrified to go to that u/s alone. Everytime I went alone in the previous pregnancies, things didn't go very well. He has been with me at every single one thus far in this pregnancy and things have been perfect every time. And it is about this time where you can start seeing things that could be wrong. Like Down Syndrome markers. But I went. I held my breath. And my boys look perfect.

Thank god. Breathe.

I do think I turned a misery corner this past weekend. I was sort of depressed that it was the 4th of July and we were doing nothing. I was exhausted and I had to sleep. So we stayed home all weekend. I needed it. However, my hands are terribly swollen to the point they hurt. And are now developing what you would call Carpo Tunnel. I thought I was having a damn stroke or something, but I looked it up on the internet and it seems that this is completely normal in pregnancy. WHAT THE F???????? It totally kept me up half the night last night. It's miserable.

There were some high points in the last week. First, I think I felt a kick!! And a few other movements. I just don't know for sure as well.. this is my first time with babies in me this long. I get choked up whenever I think about it! Moving babies at 18 weeks!

The girls at work also gave me a beautiful little shower. Wonderful food, many gifts. It was really so much more than I was expecting. and my first real baby shower!!!!

This past weekend was nice in that we went to Mark and Sonja's for a BBQ and left with the mother load of baby gear. I cannot believe what they gave us. Swing, bouncy seat, boppy, more sleepers and onesies than I thought I would need! I am definitely off and running in the baby goods in the last week! As much as I feel like I have, I know I will need so much more for the trips. How blessed are we to have Mark and Sonja? WOW.

I also visited with my friend Heather and her IUI miracle, Lilly. Another IF survivor for sure. And Sunday I visited with my friend Melissa, who is another golden Nest find. She is on bed rest due to her twins wanting to show up before they are supposed to! We always get a good laugh to think that the 7 of us are hanging out. Me, her, her twins, my trips. Oy. I can't wait until we can take them all out somewhere and let the staring begin! LOL.

Last but not least, I am 19 weeks now and we're heading home to see the family and best friends for my family shower this weekend. I pray to GOD nothing comes in between me and this trip. I am dying to see my mom and my best girls. I can't wait for them to see me pregnant. I've waited 35 years for this and this is probably the only time they will ever see me like this.

*fingers crossed*

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Swollen

I can no longer tell where my legs end and my feet begin. My once skinny ankles are gone. My fingers are now little sausages and my toes are smaller sausages. It's not a pretty site!

I had no medical mishaps this week, knock on wood. However, we did go to two Tiger games and I have vowed they will be my last of the season. Between having to hoof from the car to the stadium, suffing myself into that little seat, then sitting in it for 3+ hours with the only break being if I can hoof up 40 steps to the bathroom and back, and last but not least, back to the car... I wanted to die. Oh yeah.. it's been like 85-90 degrees with like 90% humidity. I really wanted to die. I am done. I told Jeff he either finds someone else to go with to the remainder of the games we have this year or he sells them. I'm done.

I guess the news of the week would have to be work. It literally kept me up like 3 nights in a row. No one will talk to me about my impending leave and what I do get out of my direct supervisor is that I can basically forget anything beyond 12 weeks and they are scarcely willing to work with me on a reduced schedule pre-me going out for good before the babies. Honestly, I do not know why I am shocked. I've been treated like shit so many times in the 4 years I have been at this fucking place I just don't know what to say anymore. The leave and HR people told me I need to talk to our practice leader. My supervisor tells me he needs to talk to the practice leader, the other girls who've been out on leave tell me I need to talk to the practice leader and then my supervisor tells me I need to talk strictly to the HR girl. I call the HR girl and she can't fathom why my supervisor would tell me that. Honest to christ. Can I get a straight answer out of anyone? Oh.. and I have been trying to talk to my practice leader for over a month now and he's ignored all my emails and requests for a meeting.

So finally the HR girl told me she would call the practice herself and tell him he needs to talk to me. I am thinking I am going to tell the HR girl I would prefer she be in on the conversation too as I can just imagine what is going to be said to me. All the by the fucking idiot who wasn't in the office for MONTHS after his WIFE who does not work out of the home gave birth. Yeah. The more I think about it.. I will be asking HR to listen in.

Of course, I get the feeling they want me to just quit. They know I hate it there. All of my friends have left because of the shitty treatment. I have only stayed for one reason: The IVF benefits. And now I will take my leave and i will leave by this time next year for sure. But I still have a few more things to take from this fucking place.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

First trip to Labor and Delivery is in the bag!



Here I am at 16 weeks.

About a week ago, I started having really nasty cramping/pain at my bikini line. It runs under my belly or right where the belly starts to get really big (really really big these days). From all I had heard and read, it seemed like it was most likely round ligament pain.

I talked to my MFM about it on Monday and he said that was probably what it was. Of course I had an u/s and the babes were fine.

As the week wore on, it had progessively gotten worse. Sometims it hurt me so bad, I could hardly walk. Thursday, I had my big HMO meetings all day. Before they got started that morning, I called my OB to see how often I could and if I could be taking Tylenol. I told them the RPL was still going and blah blah. They basically demanded I go to up to Labor and Delivery to be hooked up to the monitors to see if I was having contractions and to have my cervix checked.

Of course hearing that totally freaked me out and I started bawling at work before my meetings. I made the decision that since this had been going on for 4 days, 6 hours wasn't going to make that much difference. I know I know.. my babies are the most important. But I really thought.. what is 6 more hours? So I went to the meetings and then drove myself to the hospital.

I was there for about 3 hours or so. They said I did have some contractions.. a couple over the hours I was there. They check my cervix too. Oh.. and that was so fun. NOOOOOT. The resident.. a small girl Dr. must have had her arm in me up to her elbow and she said she couldn't feel/reach my cervix so it was really high and closed. I was like.. great. Thanks. That felt great. Let's do it again.

I will say that hearing I had contractions has totally freaked me out. I am now terrified of preterm labor and am convinced I 'll be in the hospital soon. I have still been achy and sore all weekend. Not quite as bad, but I do feel these little jabs that I am not convinced are all contractions.

I had another level 2 u/s on Friday. Once again.. the babes are all boys. They checked my cervix again and it measured MORE then great, so that was a relief. (ok..I am still panic'd)

So it's official. I started shopping BLUE this weekend. We returned the adorable gender neutral bedding to babies r us and made a trip to Pottery Barn Kids. This is the new model for the nursery..

http://www.potterybarnkids.com/room/rom/romnur/romnurchs/index.cfm


These are the cribs we are getting:
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2932217

I am telling my boss this week to start preparing for life with out me. I don't think I am going to make it through July. I don't want to in fact. I want to be done in the next couple of weeks. Especially with all these pain and contractions. I am scared out of my mind.

I live till the next Dr. appointment.. Tuesday!

Monday, June 9, 2008

Just when you think you cannot be shocked anymore....

you are.

We had a level 2 ultrasound for growth and development last Thursday. The tech thinks that all 3 of the babies are boys!

Holy shit.

I had to take a moment and get a grip on myself. BOYS. I don't know why, but I wasn't really expecting that. Now.. true that about 60% of IVF babies are boys, I guess I didn't think they would ALL be boys.

Most importantly, the tech did say that at this point, all 3 looked great. Like 14 week old babies. Thank god. No visible signs of any problems. HUGE sigh of relief. That is THE most important thing to me. That I bring healthy babies into this world.

But of course, I must admit there was a little piece of me that was a bit bummed by the boy news. I really did want a daughter. I don't know why, but I always thought of myself as the mom of girls. Again.. not sure why. So I did have to take a moment and say good bye to that dream. I was a girly girl for sure. I played with Barbies, spent 15 years in dance classes, loved dressing up and shopping. That kind of girl.

But it's all good. Not only can a beggar not be a chooser, but I do get to raise three boys! And there are many exciting things that come with that. And no matter what.. after all we've been through, I can't question my destiny. I was meant to have these babies. Not the three i lost, but these babies and I am truly honored and ecstatic about it!

Anyway..I think the ultrasound tech bruised my cervix when checking it. I have been cramped up and sore ever since. He was pressing so hard on me I was almost in tears and kept pressing myself into the bed I was laying on. It hurt like a bitch and I've been paying for it since. I see my OB tomorrow and he promised to look at my cervix and stuff to be sure everything is ok. Damn. Talk about unnecessary pain!

We also went up North to Jeff's nephew's party this weekend. It was fine. We told his family about the babies most likely being all boys and his mother didn't surprise at all me with her reaction. I could tell it was not a happy moment. Which just makes me want the boys all the more!

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Officially in the 2nd Trimester!!!

I seriously can't believe it! I have actually made it this far!! After not having made it out of week 5 without major drama and knowing the pregnancy wouldn't last in my other 3 pregnancies, it is sooo hard for me to believe that we are in the second trimester with triplets!!

I've been feeling pretty good since the bleeding incident. Well, I should say that good to me is probably really shitty to other pregnant women. I really am tired all the time and going up the stairs of my house takes the breath out of me. I wasn't in the best shape of my life running 5 miles a day like I used to when this pregnancy started (which I blame on the 17 months of surgeries, ectopics, fertility treatments and just overall depression =) but damn! Who would have thought I would lose breath going up my stairs!

I had another ultrasound this past week at exactly 13 weeks and all three little munchkins were doing just fine again. This Friday, when I am 14 weeks, 3 days, I will be having a level 2 ultrasound to check for growth and development. I will have one of these every other week until I hit 20 weeks. Then I will have one every week from there on out.

We've officially started shopping for everything. I have to. I may only have 6-10 weeks of being able to be out and about left in me before permanent bed rest! We've been looking into cribs hard core this past week. It's kind of a bummer. The really excellent quality ones are like $400+ and while that would be fine if we only needed one, we really do have to economize since we need 3 plus the mattresses. Jeff's mom has offered us $1000 towards the cribs & mattress (thank god), so we are really trying to get what we need for that $1000. Which means no $400 cribs for each of our babes. And then there's the stroller situation. Holy crap. Let's just say that when you need a triplet stroller, your options are limited and the good one is over $1000!! And of course, ideally it is compatible with infant car seats in the begining so you can snap and go. Well, the only car seat that it is compatible with is $250 a piece!! So.. again.. we'll have almost $2000 into this thing by the time all is said and done. Thank god my mom is offering up $$ to cut our expense in half on this too. If only we could find a good used one. But.. you know if someone else has triplets and been using the thing for a couple years, then it probably isn't in the best shape. ahhh.. it's all a consipiracy!

Anyway.. I am a bit nervous about my impending ultrasounds. It's now when they would find something if something was wrong with one of the babies. I am getting more comfortable in that their hearts will still be ticking.. but what else could be out there? ugh..

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Loving the modified bedrest!



Here is a picture of the belly at exactly 12 weeks..
Can you say huge? What the hell am I going to look like at 20 weeks? 30??
Anyway.. really loving the modified bedrest thing. Can I stay like this for the rest of my pregnancy please? I LOVE that I was told to take it easy. I.E. sleep, nap, rest, watch tv, read.. AND.. I can still get up to go to the kitchen, walk around for a few minutes every hour or so. But rest. I have loved it. I have even hardly been on the computer. It's been nice not the be tied to the computer. While I am really enjoying the relaxing, I have no desire to go through the bleeding episode again that got me here.
I have also found this week that the menstral-like cramping is back full force. I had plenty of this in the beginning at about 6 weeks. Then again at about 8-9 weeks. And holy crap. It's worse than ever now. I am assuming the trips are having a growth spurt but it doesn't do anything for my peace of mind. Especially when you add the cramping, to the continuous leakage of the progesterone suppositories on top of the fear of blood. Yeah.. good cocktail for total freak out neurosis 24/7.

I have ventured out of the house a few times now. Friday, I went to get a few groceries. Saturday, I went to Babies R Us to look into/buy bedding. Jeff and I have only been looking at gender neutral bedding with high hopes that the trips are a mixed bunch. I never really thought I would find GN bedding that I would love. I figured I would find something I could live with. But we did find someting we loved AND we completely agreed on!! Well.. I wanted to add it to my registry but Babies R us is fazing the line out. Of course. So we decided to buy it now and if we do find out the trips are all boys or girls, we'll just return it.

Here is the link to the bedding and model of our nursery as we stand today:
http://www.wendybellissimo.com/products/product_detail.php?id=65

Saturday night, we also went to our friends, Mark and Sonja's. They gave us our first baby gift! Rattles, pacifiers, and a picture frame for ultrasound pics from the 3 trimesters. Sooo awesome!
Other than that, we did more cleaning today. Probably more than I should have again, but I stopped after like an hour this time and went really slow. And here I am in bed relaxing again!


Thursday, May 22, 2008

The First Scare

So..I had some major drama this week. I should have known this pregnancy was going along to smoothly that something had to happen sooner or later.

I had gone out to eat with some friends after work and went to the bathroom at PF changs just as we were leaving and everything was fine. I got home sat and talked with Jeff for about an hour. Went upstairs and was going to lay down and relax so I went to the bathroom again. I always wear a panty liner cause of the progesterone supps and this time, the panty liner was full of brown blood and a bit of red. But full. Just like that.. in an hour. But I didn't seem to be bleeding right then.

I of course FREAKED called the doctor. He says.. ok.. no work tomorrow, go to bed immediately and stay off your feet. Come in at noon when I get there and we'll do another ultrasound. Not to urgent since the blood was all brown and I didn't think I was bleeding then.

woke up at 3am to pee. Nothing. No blood. Woke up at 6am to pee. Blood again. and a small clot. Then I really FREAKED. Hysteria sets in. Going to ER. Call Dr. again, he says come to office at 7:30, he'll meet me there, it will be faster. What a great Dr. to go in and meet me when he sooo did not have to!

Go in.. get pelvic exam. He says no active blood. Just brown old blood. Get ultrasound (mind you, I am sobbing hysterically at this point) all three babies moving and ticking hearts beating away.
Diagnosis? Well..threatened miscarriage caused by a few things:

1. Irritated cervix from many growing pains
2. broken blood vessels
3. growing pains forced out old blood
4. placental irritation.


No way to tell for sure. One thing is for sure.. It was my wake up call to SLOW down. My Dr. said.. You are not to continue life as normal. O.V.E.R.

So.. I am on house arrest/modified bed rest until next Tuesday when I go back unless something happens that it gets worse. No work until next Tuesday.

I am exhausted from my hysterics. I slept all day Tuesday after I got home from the dr. I've been so tired and exhausted that maybe this really was my wake up call to slow down for sure. No more acting 'normal'. I really needed a break. This was perfect timing really. I have been sleepwalking for the past couple weeks. I really have not recovered from the trip to NYC. I sleep like shit every night due to getting up to pee all the time and then it takes me like an hour to go back to sleep. Having this time off to be able to nap during the day has made a HUGE difference. HUGE. My babies come first and no matter what, I am listening to my body from here on out.

On a more fun and positive note, showering planning is in full swing!! How exciting! I never thought that i would actually be having a my very own baby shower! Actually.. three! One each triplet I like to think. They each get their own. when I find out what they are and we hae names.. I want to have like a cup cake or something with each of their names on it at one of the showers so that they know each of them were individually special to me from the very start. Gay I know. But I love my babies!!