Sunday, April 20, 2008

Feeling... f.a.t

Man.. I am starting to show already. The nurse said that by 10 weeks I should be popping out quite a bit so get ready. That the normal person most likely starts to show around 13-15.. I need to back that up a few weeks. I've been wearing nothing but stretchy things and draw string cargo pants.

I actually allowed myself to walk into a maternity store for the first time in my life on Friday. I went in and bought a bella band so I could still wear my jeans. It was like entering into a new club I had never been allowed to join before. There were so many cute little pregnant women in there looking fabulous. I sorta felt like a member, but who am I kidding. I might be sort cute during this pregnancy for about 5 weeks and then I am just going to be a whale. But that's ok. I'll be a whale if that means I have 3 healthy children.

On that note, I see the RE again on Tuesday and will have another ultrasound with him. Then, I have my first appointment with the Perinatologist/MFM on Friday. This pregnancy will certainly be a whirlwind of Dr. appointments. I am trying to stay positive but it has a healthy side of worry. I am worried enough with this whole mono to mono twin thing. I have been trying to block it out. If I don't, I get beside myself.

I am also going to speak to one or both of my Dr's about getting a note from work. I hate my job on a normal day (ok.. sans the 100% IVF coverage and healthy chunk of $ they pay me) and lately.. it's been unbearable. Someone quit at work and they've dumped 80% of her work on me + another client. I was working 45-50 hours a week before this all happened. And if I hear my boss say to me one more time that they are really looking to lean on me to step up and get all this done, I am really going to lose my shit. I wanted to scream at him on Friday.. were you not fucking present at the conversation I had with you on Tuesday that I have just entered into a horribly difficult high risk pregnancy?????? Did you hear a word I said? I almost lost it on him. But I checked myself for a moment and remembered: I could very well be out of there for 8 months to a year in the next 12 weeks. I just need to let my Dr's do the talking for me. So I love that I will be asking for a note already that says I am not to work more than 40 hours per week.

On the positive.. it's been a real hoot telling people I am pregnant with triplets! I should have brought a camera around with me. It's been just hilarious!

Ok.. off for some pie tonight. Have I mentioned I am an eating machine??? LOL

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

So much for uneventful!!!

Well, we've had quite the 24 hours. We had our first ultrasound yesterday at 6 weeks 6 days.


Yes, triplets. I keep saying it over and over again cause may be it will sink in one of these times. We are in total shock. Not that we didn't go into this knowing it was a possibility, but it was a remote one so we just thought.. naw! It won't happen to us! For those of you wondering, yes, we did but in 2 blasts and one pre blast at the IVF transfer. But since we put two in last time, we really were not expecting any, let alone triplets!

And actually, only two of the three did stick. One of them split and we are having identical twins and then a spare!

We are absolutely thrilled to be expecting, don't get me wrong. But we are seriously freaking out. Jeff is more like.. omg.. the $$... the daycare, we need a new house, car.. all those fun things. And I am worried about.. how the hell do I get all three of these babies safely into the world? How?? And if a triplet pregnancy weren't scary enough, my RE thinks the identicals are mono to mono twins. This means they are in the same sack and even though they are identical, they should have their own sack. The risk is that their ambilical cords could tangle and that would be very bad. It would mean immediate delivery. ugh. I can't even think about it, it scares me to death.
It's early so hopefully the membrane separating the twins will eventually show up and I can have one less thing to stress about.

Usually with a triplet pregnancy, you have to go to the Dr. every other week. Because of the mono thing.. I go every week for the duration or until they see a membrane. I will be watched like a hawk. They said I should probably prepare to be on bedrest by 20 weeks. omg. I will be in bed by August!

There is just soooo much to process. I am already exhausted by it. I hardly slept last night. My mind was every where.

I think the best part of yesterday was the heartbeats. We not only got to see them, we heard them!! At 7 weeks!!! They were beating away.. all 3 at 125 bpm!! I was totally overwhelmed with joy.

My cup truly runeth over!!

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Still pluggin' along..

So I will be 6 weeks pregnant tomorrow. And it's been... um... Dare I say... uneventful?

*knocking very hard on wood*

I thought when I got pregnant I would be blogging every single day recording exactly what was going on in my body so I could remember every single moment. But the reality is that I am so scared to pieces that I am going to lose this pregnancy too and be stuck reading all about it later that this is my first entry since I found out I was pregnant. I've been kind of a nut case about this. I have moments where I am almost cocky. Like.. of course this pregnancy will work! It has to! I've paid my dues, right??

Then there are the other moments where I am a raving lunatic and can think of nothing but the moment I will lose this pregnancy too. Where will I be? What will I be doing? How will I react? In fact, last Monday when I got my second beta results, I had a nervous breakdown that night. And my results were wonderful. My beta was doubling just perfect with a 45 hour time frame on them. Still... this wasn't good enough. They doubled last time and we all know how that turned out.

So the nurse told me there were thrilled my with my beta's, I didn't need another and they would see me on the 14th for my ultrasound. Till then, I will rejoice in the moment. I am pregnant. And I should get used to saying that right?

My symptoms have been pretty mild so far. I get crampy alot. They feel as though aunt flo will be here any second although they are not painful and do not last longer than a minute or two. They come and go. Nothing big. I am told this is my uterus stretching. I sure hope so! I also wake up to pee like clockwork at 4 am every single frickin night now. And sometimes twice a night. I haven't made it through the night in two weeks now. Last but not least, I am crazy hungry. Like every 2-3 hours I have to eat something. This will be great for my ass for sure! But like most infertiles, I am still hoping for a good bout of morning sickness or any time nausea to really prove to me that I am pregnant. Ya know.. cause the 7th pregnancy test I took as recently as two days ago is not proof enough. I want to throw up too!

So that's it for now. I am still pregnant. Still so thankful and still praying it sticks.