Ugh.

Last week was very stressful. It began with me not sleeping over the state of my leave situation and just went from there. On that front, I finally did talk to our practice leader and he was a bit more receptive to the idea that I would not be punished for not coming back after 12 weeks. He was pretty cool about it and didn't blame me for thinking that way. And honestly, if they won't hold my job another 3 months. Fine. Lay me off. I'll take the unemployment. There are plenty of other places I can work. I am done with this worry.

I continued on with my worry for my ultrasound last Wednesday. Jeff was in Toronto and I was absolutely petrified to go to that u/s alone. Everytime I went alone in the previous pregnancies, things didn't go very well. He has been with me at every single one thus far in this pregnancy and things have been perfect every time. And it is about this time where you can start seeing things that could be wrong. Like Down Syndrome markers. But I went. I held my breath. And my boys look perfect.

Thank god. Breathe.

I do think I turned a misery corner this past weekend. I was sort of depressed that it was the 4th of July and we were doing nothing. I was exhausted and I had to sleep. So we stayed home all weekend. I needed it. However, my hands are terribly swollen to the point they hurt. And are now developing what you would call Carpo Tunnel. I thought I was having a damn stroke or something, but I looked it up on the internet and it seems that this is completely normal in pregnancy. WHAT THE F???????? It totally kept me up half the night last night. It's miserable.

There were some high points in the last week. First, I think I felt a kick!! And a few other movements. I just don't know for sure as well.. this is my first time with babies in me this long. I get choked up whenever I think about it! Moving babies at 18 weeks!

The girls at work also gave me a beautiful little shower. Wonderful food, many gifts. It was really so much more than I was expecting. and my first real baby shower!!!!

This past weekend was nice in that we went to Mark and Sonja's for a BBQ and left with the mother load of baby gear. I cannot believe what they gave us. Swing, bouncy seat, boppy, more sleepers and onesies than I thought I would need! I am definitely off and running in the baby goods in the last week! As much as I feel like I have, I know I will need so much more for the trips. How blessed are we to have Mark and Sonja? WOW.

I also visited with my friend Heather and her IUI miracle, Lilly. Another IF survivor for sure. And Sunday I visited with my friend Melissa, who is another golden Nest find. She is on bed rest due to her twins wanting to show up before they are supposed to! We always get a good laugh to think that the 7 of us are hanging out. Me, her, her twins, my trips. Oy. I can't wait until we can take them all out somewhere and let the staring begin! LOL.

Last but not least, I am 19 weeks now and we're heading home to see the family and best friends for my family shower this weekend. I pray to GOD nothing comes in between me and this trip. I am dying to see my mom and my best girls. I can't wait for them to see me pregnant. I've waited 35 years for this and this is probably the only time they will ever see me like this.

*fingers crossed*