After the IVF failed, I decided it was time to officially start getting used to the idea that if I am ever going to have a child, it might be through adoption only. As I think back over my life, I never really had a big opinion on adoption. I would hear of people adopting and I have a few friends who are adopted. I always thought it was a great thing. Thank god there is that option and that there are women brave enough to have a child and give it up.
And of course, Hollywood has manged to almost romanticized adoption. Making it look like it is as easy as going down to the local Walmart and picking up a kid. Sure, when you have unlimited funds and unlimited use of a private jet to get you to whatever exotic local your child is at, and bypass the lines and hussel your application through whatever State department you have to....adoption is a snap!
I guess I always thought adoption was a wonderful and beautiful thing.... for other people. I never felt 'called' to adoption. I always thought I would get pregnant, have my own children and be done with it. Adoption was just something I surely would never have to do.
Then life through us the Infertility curve ball.
Throughout January, I have been looking into a few agencies. I wanted to find one that would mesh with our beliefs and parenting plans. It's not as easy as you think! With most agencies, there's always one or two things that disqualify us or that we don't agree with. I've read about 1000 pages of application procedures now, I think.
I've narrowed it down to two agencies. One is definitely the front runner. I talked with both agencies over the last couple of days and for the first time since my fertility was taken from me back in September, I actually can see a baby at the end of this. True, it is not a baby of my womb, but it will be our baby. And even if it is still a year away, I can sorta make out the light at the end of the tunnel. It's a nice feeling. I hope I can hang on to it.
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