I know this.
But sometimes I think I am the only one who is having trouble having a baby. The only one who repeatedly keeps losing pregnancy after pregnancy. The only one who IVF has bombed out for.
I know that's not the case, but I can't help but feel like this a lot.
Yesterday I was reminded. I have two TTTC friends that I met on the Nest and are local here in Detroit. We see the same RE. They both have had long roads as well. Both were able to try again in December after various surgical procedures. Both got pregnant in December. Both have now miscarried.
After I found out they were pregnant, I was jealous. Why was our RE getting everyone pregnant by me? Geez! And now I feel terrible for ever having thought that way. They have both now joined my little club.
There really should be a rule: If you have THIS much trouble getting pregnant, you get to STAY pregnant.
Seriously.
In other news.. I was around 100 little children over the weekend. I did have moments of longing and saddness. But I didn't cry. I made it through.
Last night was the 'first day of school' for Bailey and Kali! We started our first 'children' in doggie begginer training last night. Bailey really doesn't need it but Kali does. We thought we might as well do it together and it couldn't hurt Bailey. It was fun. And already Kali made progress! Have I mentioned how much I love these dang dogs and how much joy they bring to our lives?
3 comments:
I am so wishing the best for you. But what a belssing little furbabies can be. I don't know how I could have stayed sane through all this without mine.
hi Jen, your blog is the first blog I've read ever! there are literally hundreds of infertiliy blogs and for some reason - I was drawn into reading yours..
first off, I want to wish you - good luck on your 2nd ivf.. 2008 is your year..
after going back to read your entire blog, I can imagine how angry you must be at how life has thrown you a hell of a blow! I totally understand what you are going through - although our senarios may be different the feeling of "What the F##@@#!" is completely the same. There was a point in my life I felt like - OK now.. stop playing games God!! I get the message! No more testing me.. enough!
I am on my first IVF right now, on Gonal F day 8#, unexplained infertility. I'm 39 - but like you, I have a wonderful guy I am with.. relationship wise totally happy.
Try to keep a positive outlook on everything... you never know the outcome until the last moment... what started out to be a fricken experience - - may be all worth it in the end. Have Hope Jen... I will say a wish for U...
Good LUck! PS> oh love your doggies too = )
Hi Jen,
I just started reading your blog. I read this entry and wanted to let you know that I've felt the same way many times.
You're not alone. I'm sad, angry, frustrated and at times I feel completely hopeless. I'm jealous too. My efforts to cheer myself up and working less and less each month and sometimes I don't know how to get myself out of this funk (the weather around here is NOT helping).
I'm praying that this IVF cycle works for you! I'm always here to listen when you think you are alone!
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