Seriously.. I cannot believe this!
My cycles have always been 27-29 days and I ovulate on day 15 like clock work! Today is cycle day 25 and I just assumed I ovulated last week and didn't feel it. Well, yesterday I was crampy all day and assumed AF was on her way. But last night, I went pee and... tons of egg white cervical mucus. The next time I went pee, I took an OPK. It was blazing positive.
Ok.. I do realize this is my first non medicated cycle since the IVF and c/p. But I have never ever ovulated this late before. I am shocked. So, I guess this puts me at least another week off of my next IVF. Boo. Not that I am jumping at the chance to do my shots again, but I want to get on the road. I cried this morning when I realized I was ovulating. It means nothing now. I can't do a damn thing with it. My eggs go out there to float around in space like some abandoned satellite. It sucks so bad. Every non-IVF cycle is an off cycle for me. Will I ever get over it?
I am now doing the IVF check-ins on the board. I am glad to do it. It gives me a chance to know the girls better and see what and how everyone is coming out of this mess. It also helps to know that IVF #2 or IVF #4 might be the one. I can't stop cause the first one didn't work. Some of these girls have been through it so many times and it really is an inspiration to me. I am looking forward to keeping up with everyone.
On the bright side, I met two of my Nesties for dinner tonight. Monkeysgirl05 and Bebee29, aka Sam and Steph. We get together often. I love that they are not just screen names to me anymore. They, along with TheSkimmy and naturalblonde05 have become my support system. When I am sane enough to actually see a bright side of infertility it's them. Because of this shit, I have made some wonderful new friends. Friends I will keep for life, I know it.
Thanks girls! I don't know what I would do with out you!
2 comments:
Hey Jen! cjb8 here, looks like we are gonna be close in cycling... I'm ovulating right now as well. Bring on IVF #2!!! I'm ready!
Thanks for doing the check ins now, you are doing an awesome job so far!!!
Jen - I am reading through your blog for the first time and it's making me cry. I can relate to your pain - I too come from a very screwed up family and sometimes feel like a dark cloud is hanging over me.
I hope so badly for you that IVF #2 is it - and you are released from the hurt of infertility.
I don't expect life to be perfect, or fair, but sometimes a little break would be nice now and then. I hope both of us get our break soon.
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