Yep.. that's me! I have stayed away from my blog for a couple weeks now. On purpose. Let me explain:
For the most part, I believe if you have nothing good to say, then don't say anything at all. And last week, I had nothing good to say.
After the initial sting of the IVF bombing, I did pretty good blocking it all out. We went home for the holidays and kept really busy. Sure, some of our friends and family asked how things were going, but we only told a select few that we were doing the IVF for that reason. I didn't want to have to relive it 100 times if it did fail. So it was nice to not have to discuss it for a couple weeks.
Then we came back, went back to work. Still not talking. At this point, I figured 'why bother'? I have nothing to say. I am not doing any treatments till the next IVF so why bring it up.
This also meant alot less crying for me. And that's a good thing.
However.. last week, I had a tough time. As I have said before, I can't even try without IVF. I discovered last week that it's even hard for me to talk to some of my other tttc friends. I admitted it to them: I am insanely jealous of the fact that you all get to do IUI's every month! That you get to talk about the size of your follies and how many. What your latest E2 level is. What day are you triggering?
I cannot partake in the conversations right now. I have nothing to add. So.. how can I be a good friend while grieving my situation. Which it's obviously clear I still am. And no amount of blocking it out and pretending it doesn't exist will permanently cure the problem.
So I decided to just 'shut the fuck up last week and say nothing.
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