Because I needed something else to do...

Yes.. I've added something else to my weekly routine: I joined a gym.

Ugh.. I used to be in good shape. Used. Then infertility, a bunch of surgeries, a triplet pregnancy, trying to raise the triplets. I look like shit. I don't even recognize myself sometimes. I hate it. I've been toying with it for awhile now and this weekend, I took the plunge and did it. I decided not to join the fancy gym. It wasn't to expensive, but for what I want to do right now, the little gym was enough and it's waaay cheap! I just want to go, get on the eliptical or the treadmill and zone out to my Ipod or a magazine. I don't want to be bothered. My goal is 3 times a week for 45 minutes on the machine. I'm going to start slow. But I am so happy I did it!

And what was the incentive you ask? Everyone has one for joining a gym right? I have three. As I said above, I need to look like me again for my own good. 2nd, I have three boys and I want to be able to run with them, ride bikes with them, whitewater raft with them, go on rides at Disney with them. I want to do everything with them and not be ashamed to do it. And 3rd.. I'm going on a trip! YAHOO!!!!

My big excitement right now is that I am going to New Orleans in March! I am leaving the husband and the boys for the first time. Hell.. I am leaving the STATE OF MICHIGAN for the first time sine May of 2008 (how pathetic is that.. but I've been a bit busy). Anyway.. I am going to a get together for a Mom's of Multiples group I am part of. These girls are just the best. I've known some for quite awhile as they were part of my infertility chat board and due to the fertility treatments, some of us are mom's of multiples now. And other's, I've got to know in the past 7 months since this group started. I am so attached to them, I don't know what I would do without their daily support and understanding of raising our babies. There are 32 of us at last count spending a long weekend in the Big Easy. I've never been and I could NOT be more excited!

And what is going on with the boys this week? hum.. they are of course, still the BEST.

Benj is running like a mad man. He loves to make his mean face (puker lips, curl nose, and snarl!). He's so funny and he always laughs after. He's been saying "cat" (odd.. we have dogs!), "sad" (not sure why?) "cup" (probably cause Alex won't let him play with his cups!). He is still such a mama's boy. He literally melts into me when I pick him up. He has 3 molars now for a total of 11 teeth and the canines are peeking through!

Nate Nate is still my sweet angel babe. He's been having some sleep issues lately. Ben went through this back in November. I think it's the teeth. grr. But it has resulted in me being at work on like 3 hours of sleep 4 times in the last week! He has 2 molars and we think the others are going to pop any second. He has BIG news this week.. he's been saying A, B, C. non stop! Just the first three letters.. he doesn't go further yet. But all the time.. A.. B.. C.. so stinkin cute

Alex.. ahhh.. the X man. Everything this week is Yeah. Alex.. were you bad today? "Yeah". Alex... did you bite your brother? "yeah" to funny. His newest obsession is getting on the couch and running around it. His brothers are now getting into it too. yippee.. NOT. So seriously.. every night, we have "couch time" where we let them sit and crawl all over the couch (we have a big sectional so it's got a lot of room for all)

Last but not least... Mom and dad.. aside from the gym news and some sleepless nights, Mom (me) finished her hell week at work. My client was on site all week. It was tough on me.. and the boys. I did not get home before 7 every night. And later on the nights we had to take them out to dinner. I am still going to be swamped, but at least I can resume my prior schedule: work.. go home be mom.. turn computer on when babes are in bed. ugh... And dad.. finished the play room. Jeff did an AMAZING job on our spare room turning into triplet wonderland. Now, I just have to get the art for the walls and it can be photographed. Seriously.. our boys now have two huge areas.. one on each floor of our house to run and be wild! yeah!

I want to end my post by still requesting prayers for baby G. As humans.. we all have it in us to feel for a sick child. But this child is so adorable, (as is his twin brother) and his mom is just so nice and has so much on her plate: Baby G, his twin brother, and two other children at home and is spending countless weeks in a hospital far away from her other children and husband. And baby G gave us all two very big scares this week and I know all the prayers are helping him and his mother keep strong!!!

Playing Ketchup

Where or where does my time go? Every time I vow to take better care of this blog, I blow it. I just can't find the time. And right now, I am just got back from running an errand (more milk) and am scarfing down some food before the boys wake up from there nap. I have 15 mintues max. GO.

The holidays were nuts. The boys were all sicker than sick the week before Christmas. I had one of my "4 nighters" as I know refer to them. It seems that whenever all thee of my boys get sick, I do not sleep for 4 straight nights. That is about as long as it takes them to go from almost sick.. to sicker than sick.. to less sick... to.. just got cough up this last bit of snot... to finally they are so exhausted that they will sleep. 4 nights. It's always 4 nights. I do ok up through night 3. Night 4. I hit the wall and practically fall apart. I had to work during two of those 4 nights. That was fun. And the last one.. we had to get up to leave for an 8 hour drive to my mom's for Christmas. I let Jeff sleep and took the big offender or that night, Nathan, down to the living room to cry it out with me on the couch. Then left him there (in a pnp) and had to go fish Alex out. The only sleep I got that night was 90 minutes in the rocker with Alex on me.

Then there was the trip home. What. a. fucking. nightmare. My usually good travelers were so sick. They screamed about 5 of the 8 hours. And Alex was so upset at one point, he threw up all over himself, the car seat, the car.. we had to pull over on the highway so I could clean him up. We were both crying by that time. If it had been anything other than Christmas, we would have turned around.

Then.. once at my mom's, the weather was so bad that none of my family living more than 30 minutes away even could come home. It was SO bad.

We had a rather uneventful trip back thank god. We were happy to wash Christmas off of us this year.

Since Christmas, one word has taken over for me and Jeff: w.o.r.k. It's been really awful. Since New Years, I've worked an average of 55 hours a week. Weekends, evenings. And I'll be there a good 60 hours this week. And Jeff.. ugh. He's been traveling almost every week which leads me to single parenting at night. And.. on the weekends, he's been slaving away creating a play room paradise for the boys. But again.. as a result.. more single parenting. And there's now a 90% possibility he will be taking on a new project... in London. That will require him to be gone for a week to 2 weeks at a time probably 5 times this year. And that could start in the next week. But what do you say? Is his line of work.. you don't say no. There are thousands of unemployed automotive engineers. But they want him. They're promoting him. His job is on fire. SO.. he'll go and I'll shut up and try to juggle it somehow.

oh! the boys.. omg.. every day they amaze me. They are all walking and have been for gee... over a month now. I can't believe it! They are 15 months now. The sweetest, cutest things ever. They are still with our nanny, although.. she'll be leaving us in a few months when her semester is over at school so we have to figure out what we'll do AGAIN for childcare. We also just started Kindermusic classes and are have been doing lots of play dates and have a play date every weekend for the next few weeks. We/I am looking forward to hosting a group of my mom's of multiples at our house for a Valentine party in a few weeks. We have a great group of us that have become really great friends so I can't wait! It is sooo nice to have a group of friends who are in the exact same situation you are and understands the demands of raising multiples, working.. all of it. They don't pass judgement or expect the unrealistic from me either.

Last but not least.. as I hear a boy talking upstairs.. Please pray for baby G again. I cannot stress to you enough how badly this little man needs every prayer he can get. Besides my own children, I worry for him like I am his mother. I pray for him night and day. He and his family have had an awful time lately and things are very critical. Please.. light a candle, say a prayer. Something.

The 1st trip to Santa is in the bag!

Wow.. that was an event.

Jeff and I both have vacation days to burn by the end of the year so we decided to take yesterday off to spend as a family and go visit Santa for the first time. We figured better a Friday than a Saturday at the crazy mall.

We got up and started our routine as normal but I had to leave for the mall around8:30ish so that I could go get our Santa "fast pass". If you've ever been to Disney World, then you know what I am talking about. You go... put your name in, and get your Santa time and come back when it's your scheduled time. This is a great system as it avoids people having to stand in line for hours with screaming children.

The only flaw in this system is that they won't let you actually just make a reservation for a particular time. In our case, I needed a time after lunch, but before the afternoon nap. So about 1:00. My friend had been to the mall the previous Friday and when she got there at 10:00 am, they were already handing out times at 1:30! So I was sure I needed to be there by 9ish. And I got there at 9ish. I was not the only one with that plan! There were other parents there doing the same thing!

What was crazy about it, it was actually SLOW!!! I ended up having to wait for an hour and 40 mintues to get a time after 1:00!! So.. in that time, I bonded with the other parents, got a Starbucks and browsed Janie and Jack. Something I should never be allowed to do as it inevitably ends with me dropping to much money on clothes for the boys! Sadly, they know me there and made me promise to bring the boys back later that day so they could see the in their Christmas clothes. Which.. I had to shamefully admit.. were NOT Janie and Jack!

Anyway.. we were on time for our 1:14 Santa appointment. We got right in! Had to wait for one family ahead of us. So I will give snaps to Sommerset and their well oiled Santa machine! This mall really is beautfull at Christmas. (pictures to follow) SO how did it go? Well.. it went like yeah... you can see how it went!

But.. it's a right of passage right?

Thanksgivings..

Well, we’ve made it through one holiday so far this year! It was kinda rough but we’re all alive. We went to Jeff’s mom’s for Thanksgiving. There were 19 adults and 11 children. It was chaos. Chaos on top of an un-baby proofed house and teething boys makes for well.. an exhausting 3 days. But I am glad Jeff had a nice time and got to see a lot of his family. That’s what counts right?

The boys are up to so much lately. They really are one laugh after another. They love to clap at everything. They wave at everything. They pucker up to kiss everything. Alex was especially fond of his cousin Addison’s doll this past weekend. It was hysterical! They love to throw balls. Everything is a “Bah”. Ben is really shaping up to be quite the lefty! Jeff of course, is thrilled by this prospect and is already looking for major league baseball scouts to get their opinions! LOL And their new favorite game is peek a boo! They love to cover their eyes and wait for one of us to yell.. PEEK A BOO!!! Sometimes they will even put blankets over their heads and pull them off. Alex.. well he loves to put everything on his head. Blankets, burp cloths, pants.. you name it!

Alex is not only just walking.. he is running. Like a mad man. Nate and Ben are so funny. They get up.. stand up. Take a couple steps. But then realize if they are going to catch him, they must still crawl. They are walking but not with the confidence that Alex has. But they are getting there so fast. It really amazes me. To think… at this time last year, Ben still didn’t weigh 5 pounds! Alex and Nate? They were about 6!!! To say they have come a long way in these 13 months is understatement! My preemies are not preemies anymore. They are 13 month old toddlers with no delays! It’s impossible for me to look at them and not get choked up!

Overall, things are busy. Time flies. This week has been no exception. Half of my Christmas shopping is done, the tree is up, the Christmas card is ordered. What next? More shopping this weekend and a party with the high order multiples group! This group is for families with triplets, quads, and quints. It really makes us feel “normal’. They understand the daily chaos for sure! Our group has adopted another high order multiple family in need, so the kids will be giving gifts to the children of the family in need.

I am so thankful that we are able to do this and to participate in three other exchanges like this. We’ve had an expensive year and precarious year with our job status uncertainty for sure, but we hope it’s behind us. Because we feel so fortunate, it’s very important for us to give back to those who are in need or just had a really shitty year. Health and happiness is fleeting. Who knows when I or someone I love may be on the other side of things. So for this year.. we share the wealth.

It is also at this time of year when I think about those still struggling to conceive the most. I had two really awful holiday seasons in 2006 and 2007. In December of 2006, my first pregnancy was diagnosed ectopic when my fallopian tube burst on Dec. 18th. I had surgery immediately that morning. I ended up back in the ER with my stitches hitting a nerve on Christmas Eve. I remember sitting on my living room couch in front of the Christmas tree a couple days after Christmas that year and Jeff saying to me… Don’t worry sweetie.. by this time next year, things will be much different for us. And he was right.

They were much worse.

After losing my other fallopian tube and my second pregnancy in September, we found out our first IVF was a chemical pregnancy on December 14th of 2007. I’d had it. I was a total mental, emotional basket case. I swore that was the last Christmas I was spending surrounded by and buying presents for nieces and nephews and children of our friends. Jeff and I both agreed, if we weren’t at least pregnant or knee deep in an adoption by Christmas 2008, we’d be spending our Christmas drowning in Mai Tai’s in Hawaii from now on.

I thank god everyday for the gifts I’ve been given in these boys. I just wanted to be a parent to A child. Any child. I didn’t care where he or she came from. Just one little child was all I wanted. So to all of you out there still struggling, my thoughts are with you now at this most difficult time of year. I hope that this is your last holiday season that you have to feel like this.

some pics..

Halloween!

Our first leaves..

A day in the life..

Here is a day in our life:
6:00ish AM: I hear monkey’s start to babble
6:10: Mom is in the shower
6:30: Mom is dressed and downstairs letting dogs out, feeding dogs, getting bottles (monkey’s are now full on chatting and yelling to be let out of cages)
6:45: Diaper changes for all. Bottles begin
7:00: playtime
7:15: Mom is out the door
7:30: Nanny Poppins arrives and Dad is out the door.
5:30ish: Mom and Dad are home. Monkey dinner begins. Ends with Mom and Dad wearing said dinner
6:00: PM Playtime with mom and dad
7:00: Bath time, books, and general get ready for bed
7:30: bottle
7:45: Bed
7:45: Mom starts her house chores, Dad starts his. Mom’s will include fold laundry, grocery shop, prepare tomorrows lunch, bottles, and dinner, clean up. Dad’s include Mafia wars and Monday night football. Occasionally trash night.
10:00: collapse into bed, maybe get 30 minutes of TV before sandman takes over.

Repeat.

It’s a crazy crazy day. But pretty typical for a working parent. You try to cram it all in and hope you don’t mess anyone up along the way. I miss the boys so much while I am gone all day. We’ve all started some separation anxiety. Especially Alex. He does not like it when we walk out of a room. AT ALL. And Nate and Ben aren’t far behind! I realized on Saturday that I too.. am suffering from separation anxiety. We went out to dinner for Jeff’s birthday. It was our first time out together since August 9th. Jeff’s mom and step dad came to visit to babysit for us. I had a horrible time leaving. Horrible. I’ve come to the conclusion that we no longer do anything together because our weekends are for the kids and only the kids. I feel like I have so little time with them during the week that I can’t possibly give up one waking moment during the weekend. But of course, as a result my marriage is suffering. Not that it’s bad or in trouble, but still, it’s not the same. I feel like we’re parents and not a married couple now. It does bum me out a bit. We had a nice time on Saturday night. A really nice time and made me think, we need to make more of an effort even if it’s just a “date night at home”. So we’re going to try.

But the boys are so amazing right now. Makes me want more kids! If only I could give birth to an 11 month old…. Hum..

Once again..

I am a total blog slacker.

GAWD I have been b.u.s.y.

Towards the end of September, we really swung into high gear trying to get the house ready for the boys 1st birthday party. That meant painting and organizing and shopping and planning. And in the end, we only got two rooms out of the 4 we wanted done. And we didn't even get to the hall either.

I was also getting ready to sell in the my first mom to mom sale. I only made about $400. That was a big disappointment to me and I won't sell in that sale again. It was SO much work getting ready for it, but on the up side.. Melissa and I got out of our houses for some adult time!

Then there was the BIG party!! OH BOY. My boys are 1!! I lived through it and I can't believe it! Of course they were all sick for the big day and there was some drama leading up to it with certain family members. But that's pretty much typical in the Johnson/LaLonde families. And the weather did NOT cooperate. We had planned to have it outside in a big tent, but it was way to cold. I was soooo nervous about having that many people in my house. But, in the end, it all went beautifully! We had about 60 people with the kids and my house held up fabulously. I had SO much food. After it was over I was like.. did anyone eat? LOL There were so many wonderful things about the day. The boys were amazing and LOVED their smash cakes. My best friend in the world drove 7 hours to be here with her 4 kids, as did my mom and grandma. All of Jeff's best friends came down from Midland and Bay City. We are so honored all of these people drove for hours to help us celebrate our miracles!

And since the party, we've all been sick, there's been Halloween parties, pictures... so much going on.

But what sat me down tonight finally? I really needed a place to just write out some feelings. I hate that I most feel compelled to blog when I am upset or something has royally pissed me off. But, it is what it is. And tonight, I am just heartbroken for a friend whose baby was just diagnosed with a horrible life debilitating and threatening disease called CIPO. Chronic Intestinal Pseudo Obstruction.
http://www.nationwidechildrens.org/GD/Templates/Pages/Childrens/GI/GILongContent.aspx?page=1748
CIPO is also very rare.. affecting like 1 out of like a million children.

The friend is a 'virtual' friend who I know through a chat board of women with multiples. It's an amazing group of girls and I've become so attached to them. And sadly, this is the second baby in our group that has been diagnosed with this condition this year. I've talked to a couple friends in the medical field and they can't believe that not only have I have heard of this disease and know what it is, but that I actually know of TWO babies with it in our small group of about 100 women.

The first baby, J.. is somewhat stable now after many many hospitalizations. But still has chronic pain. His mother was a great comfort to me in the early days of my pregnancy when we thought Ben and Nate might be mono amniotic. And then again when Ben was diagnosed with reflux. J and his brother were and she was by default.. an expert in the conditions and now, she is an expert on CIPO. She is remarkable. I think of her and her family every hour or every day. When J was finally diagnosed back in May, I was MIA due to the move, boys being sick, losing my job.. all that shit. I really feel a huge pit of guilt for not being there to be more supportive. If only thoughts and prayers were enough. Thank goodness J is stable right now, but many many tests and a very long road is still ahead for him.

And now.. poor baby G has been diagnosed with CIPO. And he is very.. well.. not stable. In fact, it's been one thing after another for this poor child and his family. When I read his mother's most recent post this afternoon, I literally lost it at my desk and had to go for a walk. Baby G has the sweetest face you could imagine and I can't bare to look at it knowing how sick he is.

I've had to ask myself tonight.. why am I so upset by this? I don't know this child or his mother other than over the computer. I think I have concluded that A) I am also the mother of young boys only a couple months older than G and a couple months younger than J. B) It's human nature to feel bad for a sick baby C) Having dealt with Ben's awful reflux and the hospitalization of all three of my boys at the same time last winter and knowing how upset and scary both of those situations were to me and my husband, I just can NOT fathom escalating those circumstances to what these mothers are dealing with.

It takes my breath away and knocks me on my knees. It makes me very angry with the powers that be. How can these babies be suffering so? How? Why?

I don't consider myself particularly religious. Although, I am catholic, did attend church regularly and probably will again when I can.. I consider myself more spiritual. Since this has all started with baby G, I find myself praying non stop for him. Several times a day.

So.. if you read this and you pray.. or you talk to some other higher power not of this earth.. pray for baby G and baby J. They need all the help they can get right now.