Swollen

I can no longer tell where my legs end and my feet begin. My once skinny ankles are gone. My fingers are now little sausages and my toes are smaller sausages. It's not a pretty site!

I had no medical mishaps this week, knock on wood. However, we did go to two Tiger games and I have vowed they will be my last of the season. Between having to hoof from the car to the stadium, suffing myself into that little seat, then sitting in it for 3+ hours with the only break being if I can hoof up 40 steps to the bathroom and back, and last but not least, back to the car... I wanted to die. Oh yeah.. it's been like 85-90 degrees with like 90% humidity. I really wanted to die. I am done. I told Jeff he either finds someone else to go with to the remainder of the games we have this year or he sells them. I'm done.

I guess the news of the week would have to be work. It literally kept me up like 3 nights in a row. No one will talk to me about my impending leave and what I do get out of my direct supervisor is that I can basically forget anything beyond 12 weeks and they are scarcely willing to work with me on a reduced schedule pre-me going out for good before the babies. Honestly, I do not know why I am shocked. I've been treated like shit so many times in the 4 years I have been at this fucking place I just don't know what to say anymore. The leave and HR people told me I need to talk to our practice leader. My supervisor tells me he needs to talk to the practice leader, the other girls who've been out on leave tell me I need to talk to the practice leader and then my supervisor tells me I need to talk strictly to the HR girl. I call the HR girl and she can't fathom why my supervisor would tell me that. Honest to christ. Can I get a straight answer out of anyone? Oh.. and I have been trying to talk to my practice leader for over a month now and he's ignored all my emails and requests for a meeting.

So finally the HR girl told me she would call the practice herself and tell him he needs to talk to me. I am thinking I am going to tell the HR girl I would prefer she be in on the conversation too as I can just imagine what is going to be said to me. All the by the fucking idiot who wasn't in the office for MONTHS after his WIFE who does not work out of the home gave birth. Yeah. The more I think about it.. I will be asking HR to listen in.

Of course, I get the feeling they want me to just quit. They know I hate it there. All of my friends have left because of the shitty treatment. I have only stayed for one reason: The IVF benefits. And now I will take my leave and i will leave by this time next year for sure. But I still have a few more things to take from this fucking place.

First trip to Labor and Delivery is in the bag!

Here I am at 16 weeks.

About a week ago, I started having really nasty cramping/pain at my bikini line. It runs under my belly or right where the belly starts to get really big (really really big these days). From all I had heard and read, it seemed like it was most likely round ligament pain.

I talked to my MFM about it on Monday and he said that was probably what it was. Of course I had an u/s and the babes were fine.

As the week wore on, it had progessively gotten worse. Sometims it hurt me so bad, I could hardly walk. Thursday, I had my big HMO meetings all day. Before they got started that morning, I called my OB to see how often I could and if I could be taking Tylenol. I told them the RPL was still going and blah blah. They basically demanded I go to up to Labor and Delivery to be hooked up to the monitors to see if I was having contractions and to have my cervix checked.

Of course hearing that totally freaked me out and I started bawling at work before my meetings. I made the decision that since this had been going on for 4 days, 6 hours wasn't going to make that much difference. I know I know.. my babies are the most important. But I really thought.. what is 6 more hours? So I went to the meetings and then drove myself to the hospital.

I was there for about 3 hours or so. They said I did have some contractions.. a couple over the hours I was there. They check my cervix too. Oh.. and that was so fun. NOOOOOT. The resident.. a small girl Dr. must have had her arm in me up to her elbow and she said she couldn't feel/reach my cervix so it was really high and closed. I was like.. great. Thanks. That felt great. Let's do it again.

I will say that hearing I had contractions has totally freaked me out. I am now terrified of preterm labor and am convinced I 'll be in the hospital soon. I have still been achy and sore all weekend. Not quite as bad, but I do feel these little jabs that I am not convinced are all contractions.

I had another level 2 u/s on Friday. Once again.. the babes are all boys. They checked my cervix again and it measured MORE then great, so that was a relief. (ok..I am still panic'd)

So it's official. I started shopping BLUE this weekend. We returned the adorable gender neutral bedding to babies r us and made a trip to Pottery Barn Kids. This is the new model for the nursery..

http://www.potterybarnkids.com/room/rom/romnur/romnurchs/index.cfm

These are the cribs we are getting:
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2932217

I am telling my boss this week to start preparing for life with out me. I don't think I am going to make it through July. I don't want to in fact. I want to be done in the next couple of weeks. Especially with all these pain and contractions. I am scared out of my mind.

I live till the next Dr. appointment.. Tuesday!

Just when you think you cannot be shocked anymore....

you are.

We had a level 2 ultrasound for growth and development last Thursday. The tech thinks that all 3 of the babies are boys!

Holy shit.

I had to take a moment and get a grip on myself. BOYS. I don't know why, but I wasn't really expecting that. Now.. true that about 60% of IVF babies are boys, I guess I didn't think they would ALL be boys.

Most importantly, the tech did say that at this point, all 3 looked great. Like 14 week old babies. Thank god. No visible signs of any problems. HUGE sigh of relief. That is THE most important thing to me. That I bring healthy babies into this world.

But of course, I must admit there was a little piece of me that was a bit bummed by the boy news. I really did want a daughter. I don't know why, but I always thought of myself as the mom of girls. Again.. not sure why. So I did have to take a moment and say good bye to that dream. I was a girly girl for sure. I played with Barbies, spent 15 years in dance classes, loved dressing up and shopping. That kind of girl.

But it's all good. Not only can a beggar not be a chooser, but I do get to raise three boys! And there are many exciting things that come with that. And no matter what.. after all we've been through, I can't question my destiny. I was meant to have these babies. Not the three i lost, but these babies and I am truly honored and ecstatic about it!

Anyway..I think the ultrasound tech bruised my cervix when checking it. I have been cramped up and sore ever since. He was pressing so hard on me I was almost in tears and kept pressing myself into the bed I was laying on. It hurt like a bitch and I've been paying for it since. I see my OB tomorrow and he promised to look at my cervix and stuff to be sure everything is ok. Damn. Talk about unnecessary pain!

We also went up North to Jeff's nephew's party this weekend. It was fine. We told his family about the babies most likely being all boys and his mother didn't surprise at all me with her reaction. I could tell it was not a happy moment. Which just makes me want the boys all the more!

Officially in the 2nd Trimester!!!

I seriously can't believe it! I have actually made it this far!! After not having made it out of week 5 without major drama and knowing the pregnancy wouldn't last in my other 3 pregnancies, it is sooo hard for me to believe that we are in the second trimester with triplets!!

I've been feeling pretty good since the bleeding incident. Well, I should say that good to me is probably really shitty to other pregnant women. I really am tired all the time and going up the stairs of my house takes the breath out of me. I wasn't in the best shape of my life running 5 miles a day like I used to when this pregnancy started (which I blame on the 17 months of surgeries, ectopics, fertility treatments and just overall depression =) but damn! Who would have thought I would lose breath going up my stairs!

I had another ultrasound this past week at exactly 13 weeks and all three little munchkins were doing just fine again. This Friday, when I am 14 weeks, 3 days, I will be having a level 2 ultrasound to check for growth and development. I will have one of these every other week until I hit 20 weeks. Then I will have one every week from there on out.

We've officially started shopping for everything. I have to. I may only have 6-10 weeks of being able to be out and about left in me before permanent bed rest! We've been looking into cribs hard core this past week. It's kind of a bummer. The really excellent quality ones are like $400+ and while that would be fine if we only needed one, we really do have to economize since we need 3 plus the mattresses. Jeff's mom has offered us $1000 towards the cribs & mattress (thank god), so we are really trying to get what we need for that $1000. Which means no $400 cribs for each of our babes. And then there's the stroller situation. Holy crap. Let's just say that when you need a triplet stroller, your options are limited and the good one is over $1000!! And of course, ideally it is compatible with infant car seats in the begining so you can snap and go. Well, the only car seat that it is compatible with is $250 a piece!! So.. again.. we'll have almost $2000 into this thing by the time all is said and done. Thank god my mom is offering up $$ to cut our expense in half on this too. If only we could find a good used one. But.. you know if someone else has triplets and been using the thing for a couple years, then it probably isn't in the best shape. ahhh.. it's all a consipiracy!

Anyway.. I am a bit nervous about my impending ultrasounds. It's now when they would find something if something was wrong with one of the babies. I am getting more comfortable in that their hearts will still be ticking.. but what else could be out there? ugh..