Someone shoot me.. please.

Honest to god.

Today is Saturday. So Jeff is home. We get done feeding the babies, I get them dressed.. get in to take a shower. Now.. I enjoy my Saturday and Sunday showers. Since he is here with my mom, I don't have to take a 2 minute shower. I can actually take a 10-15 minute one and wash my hair! And I look forward to washing my hair twice a week!! Jeff and my mom "get along". But this whole living situation has unfortunately tarnished the view each had of each other before she came to stay with us. We've had some really rough moments, but lately.. things had been going ok.

So.. while I am in the shower, I hear a door close - loudly. Not a slam.. but loudly. And I know it's my mom's door. I get out and it's still shut. So I look at Jeff and go.. huh? He says.. I was walking by from the babies room to our room and her door was cracked like 4 inches or so and I could see her in there naked and changing! So I shut it and I am not sorry I did. I don't need to see that.

I cringed.

I am pissed. Ok.. did you have to acknowledge it? My mom acts like a 10 year old on her best days and this is just going to piss her off and totally embarrass the crap out of her. I was like.. thanks a lot dude! Great way to start of the weekend when I already had a great enough week!
He immediately gets pissed and starts yelling at me again, that he is not sorry.

My mom goes downstairs. I talk to her like normal. She goes back upstairs with her cereal and shuts her bedroom door. Loudly.

Really. Can someone shoot me?

I had a rough week. Mentally. The boys are finally sleeping somewhat better and it's amazing what a little sleep can do for ones outlook on the day. But this house business was really getting the better of me. I was convinced we wouldn't hear from the bank in the near future, thus causing us to have to pay another $2500 for a nonhomestead fee if the house wasn't closed by May 1. Not to mention still being in this house locked up like sardines. But I had talked it out in my head that if it wasn't m'eant to be.. then it wasn't. You see.. we've resigned ourselves to the fact that we're going to have to forclose on our current house to get out of it. Whether you agree with it or not is not why I am blogging about it. And I don't care to hear how we're contributing to the mortgage meltdown in this country. I realize that, but I didn't start it and we won't be the ones who finish it either. It's a decision we feel we had to make for the sake of our growing by the day family. And in Detroit, selling the house you're in and even breaking even is not even a remote possibility for the indefinite future.

Then we hear on the house. All is well right? Well.....

I read over my leave papers from work. It says I return on May 1. I didn't realize it at the time, but May 1 is a Friday. So I think.. why would I go back on Friday. Monday makes more sense. And the daycare needs to know what my plan is. They could take more kids on Friday if mine are not there. It is there lively-hood after all.. so of course they want to know.

So I email my supervisor and the head of my department. Which day? No biggie.. just let me know. No response. I call both. No response. I am being ignored. Avoided. Coincidence? Let me also remind you all that my two biggest clients have dumped us and everything I would do the rest of the year no longer exists for me to go back to. And.. since I am on unpaid LOA, they are under no obligation to restore me to my previous role. Humm... what do I smell here?

Finally I get a one line email from my supervisor. The big boss is out of the office (which is bs cause I know he was in in the morning yesterday as my spies tell me) and he'll call me next week. So what I thought was a no brainer question has turned into "the boss will call you next week". Now there are two ways I can view this:

1. I am about to be layed off. Let go.. whatever.
2. I could never get a straight answer out of my boss when I sat three feet from him. All he would say is that "it's out of my hands, talk to big boss" and getting the time of the big boss is like an audience with the Holy Grail. When I was about to go out on maternity leave last summer.. I had emailed him.. called him.. gone into his office while he was there and could NOT. NOT get 3 minutes of his time even when it related to actual work I needed a decision on to move forward. When discussing the terms of my leave, I had to actually call our HR department in our Chicago office and have them call him to FORCE him to have the leave conversation with me. I kid not. I was ready to drop three babies and couldn't get his time.

So choose your option.

Either way, it leaves me worried and upset about my job. Me and the other million people in this area still hanging to their jobs by a thread. Do we still close on this new house and drain half of our savings on the down payment and moving to get into something we can actually live in? Some place we can be comfortable long term and with the school district, as we would never send them to the schools where we live now. Godforbid Jeff lose his job too..would we have possibly two forclosed houses to our name?

We really don't know what to do right now.