Just one of those days...

I am entitled to them every once and a while right? Today was one. I sometimes remember the life I used to have and think wow.. that wasn't that long ago. The difference in my life from this time last year to today... oh my god.. there is no resemblance what so ever.

The boys are having a tough time at night right now. We do get a couple good nights here and there, but lately it's been more bad than good. They are teething something fierce. Those of you with one, or even two children teething at a time know how painful that one or two can be. Three.. yeah.. you can only imagine right? So I am sleep deprived for sure. And it's always me who is getting up in the middle of the night. Not once, twice or three times. There are nights when I am out of my bed at least 10 times. And they have not dropped the early morning feeding yet. So there is always a feed between 4 and 6. I am exhausted. Jeff and my mom do get up to help me with the feed, but in between, it's me. Jeff doesn't hear them and by the time I would wake him up, I am up so what's the point in both of us being exhausted? And they are not my mom's kids. They are ours.

My mom pissed me off something crazy today. We were getting the boys ready to go on a couple errands. It was raining so I needed her to go and stay in the car with the boys so I could run in the stores. And no.. I can't just leave them all home. My mom will not stay home with all three alone. She's not comfortable with it. So as we are getting ready, my mom comes down stairs and I smell it.. perfume. Now.. I am allergic to almost all perfumes out there and I am hyper sensitive to smells. I almost gagged. i was like.. why the fuck would you spray yourself with perfume when you are about to get in a fucking small space like a car with me and 3 babies????????? Someone please tell me why this is logical? I said something to her in a more diplomatic fashion and she FREAKED on me. She was so pissed that I was not ok with this.. omg. I told her to grow the fuck up and stay home. I left with the babies myself and road around. It was raining so I couldn't take them out of the car and do any errands. Such is the life with triplets.

Then there's my husband. Love him to death and he does help with the boys. But... I wish he would do more. And I know he knows he needs to do more to help me. He even commented on it last night. I take care of the babies. I take out the trash, I do all the dishes, laundry, folding, making formula, making bottles, picking up the dog shit, taking care of the dogs. Honestly.. I am starting to freak out about how the fuck i am going to manage my life when I go back to work in 5 weeks. And we think we need to get rid of our cleaning lady because that's money we need to allocate in a different spot now with our gigantic daycare bill. Never mind the fact that our new house is more than double the size of our current one. Only 3500 square feet for me to try to clean.

Last but not least on my mind today. Is my body. I went shopping yesterday to find an outfit to wear to the boys baptism and I left the store in tears. My body is a total fat mess. I've lost weight for sure but I don't think that even matters. My stomach is a mess of stretch marks and flab. I need plastic surgery for sure.

Don't get me wrong. I couldn't love those little monkey's more. But if anyone out there is wishing for twins or triplets, stop and think about the challenges it brings with it. Personal and financial. This is the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life. And this is AFTER the difficult pregnancy, 3 months of bed rest, and almost dying in the delivery. I was lucky enough to carry them to 33 weeks+ and that they are all healthy! And I've had my mom here helping me since they were born. I don't know how any mom of triplets does this alone. I really don't. At least up to a certain age.

I am feeling really overwhelmed right now. sigh...