Things are well.. crazy good! Where to even begin? It's been a month of firsts at our house!
The month started of September started off with a bang. The bang of the back door and watching Jeff go out of it! He was sent to London again for an ongoing work project and this time, for two weeks. I had known about the trip for about a month and when he told me, it didn't occur to me what that trip was coinciding with around the house: School starting. I had never had a child start school before, so it just didn't dawn on me till he was leaving.
I had two parent/teacher nights. Two meet the teacher days. Two first days of school. Followed up with Ben's surgical follow ups, my dental appointments... I was sure I was going to get fired for being a single parent! But we made it through and the boys are just thriving with their new routine. In fact...dare I even say it? They are sleeping through the night! sshhhhhhh!
Jeff was back two days and then we were off on our first trip together in 4.5 years. We spent 4 glorious nights in Las Vegas. It was heaven! Of course we missed our army of little men, but it was sooo nice to sleep, eat, drink, spa and do anything we wanted when we wanted for 4 days!
Now that we're back, things have not slowed down at all. We had company this past weekend and now I am in full on birthday party planning and mom to mom sale mode. Getting ready for both!
The boys? what can I say. Every day is something new.
Ben.. loves to tell us: Not yet! No! Not yet! When he hears "I got a feeling" by the black eye'd peas, he goes nuts! Always dancing lately. And when he wants to do something he knows he shouldn't.. he tell us to 'go away' or 'turn around'. lol you gotta love that! He came through surgery on both of his hands and hardly slowed down despite having both hands totally wrapped for over a week and then smaller wraps after for 2 more weeks. The only real issue he had was eating. We had to help with that!
Nate..his big thing these days is "do it myself" or to "go upside down". I must hear these two phrases a million times a day. he is so brave and so strong. nothing physical scares him, that's for sure.
Oh.. and nate and ben LOVE LOVE LOVE to go to school on the bus. They sing wheels on the bus ALL.THE.TIME.
Alex... he is so mindful of his surroundings and getting really in tune to people. Yesterday we were watching the first Shrek and when donkey discovers the fire breathing dragon is a girl and "likes" him, Alex, who was very seriously watching the movie turned around and said "momma!!! that dragon is happy!!!!" She sure is my little man! Alex is also potty trained going on 3 months now! Hope his brothers follow suit soon!
Lastly, I love that they all are in tune to each and know they are brothers. In the morning, no matter who I get out of bed first, he will say "mama.. where are my brothers? Can I go get my brothers?"
Sigh... love!!
Monday, September 26, 2011
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Best layed plans..
So much for my new years resolution to update the blog more often. Yes.. I suck. I really do *think* about updating the blog at least 2 or 3 times a week. That has to count for something, right? I have to laugh.. when I do think to update it, it's always at work when I should be... well.. working. I find my mind will wander and think.. gee.. I'd love to write about xyz on the blog! But alas... blogs are blocked at work. No go. Then I think.. yep.. tonight is the night! I am going to update the blog. And I forget... until I am at work again.
Things are crazy as usual. I have realized I no longer say "when things calm down" because I really don't see that they will in the near future. Our house is continuous chaos. Every week is a sprint to the weekend when hopefully I can slip a nap in somewhere or cross something off my to do list that usually involves the house.
The boys.. oh those boys. GOD they are changing! The language that is going on in my house is just pure amazing. Everyday... there is something new. Every time an airplane flies overhead, all three stop and yell "AIRPLANE!!!!". Jeff even has them going "da plane! da plane!" his very own little Tatoo's! When we ride down the road, there is "what's that?" "tree", "truck", "big truck" and on Sunday, we rode by a church and Alex said "look momma! A castle!" and then on our way to meet friends at a playground he said "look! A farm!" We just sit back and wonder.. where does he come up with this stuff?
And Ben? BEN... came up to me TWICE on Sunday and said "I pooped" OMG... love it.
Nate? He is in this phase where "it hurts", "mommy... help". I am happy to kiss any and all boo boos he has.
Today was monumental for another reason: For the first time, Alex asked to go potty on the potty chair with out being prompted! He did it! And then we turned around to see Nate pee'ing on the floor! oh well.. we can't win them all. But it's a start.
The boys continue to amaze me daily. Things are getting a bit easier. Taking them places is really getting to be fun. It helps that I have some amazing MoM friends to make it easier. We hang mostly with a couple sets of twins and another set of triplet boys. This weekend, we saw our other favorite set of triplets both Saturday and Sunday. And our twin friends on Sunday too! It helps that I love their mom's and the adults get to play while the kids play.
It's going to be a great summer!
Things are crazy as usual. I have realized I no longer say "when things calm down" because I really don't see that they will in the near future. Our house is continuous chaos. Every week is a sprint to the weekend when hopefully I can slip a nap in somewhere or cross something off my to do list that usually involves the house.
The boys.. oh those boys. GOD they are changing! The language that is going on in my house is just pure amazing. Everyday... there is something new. Every time an airplane flies overhead, all three stop and yell "AIRPLANE!!!!". Jeff even has them going "da plane! da plane!" his very own little Tatoo's! When we ride down the road, there is "what's that?" "tree", "truck", "big truck" and on Sunday, we rode by a church and Alex said "look momma! A castle!" and then on our way to meet friends at a playground he said "look! A farm!" We just sit back and wonder.. where does he come up with this stuff?
And Ben? BEN... came up to me TWICE on Sunday and said "I pooped" OMG... love it.
Nate? He is in this phase where "it hurts", "mommy... help". I am happy to kiss any and all boo boos he has.
Today was monumental for another reason: For the first time, Alex asked to go potty on the potty chair with out being prompted! He did it! And then we turned around to see Nate pee'ing on the floor! oh well.. we can't win them all. But it's a start.
The boys continue to amaze me daily. Things are getting a bit easier. Taking them places is really getting to be fun. It helps that I have some amazing MoM friends to make it easier. We hang mostly with a couple sets of twins and another set of triplet boys. This weekend, we saw our other favorite set of triplets both Saturday and Sunday. And our twin friends on Sunday too! It helps that I love their mom's and the adults get to play while the kids play.
It's going to be a great summer!
Sunday, January 16, 2011
A new pledge
So here it is the 16th of January and I am just updating this. I don't expect anyone still checks this cause well... I suck at updating. This has been the longest stretch ever. But life really did get away from me.
To make a long story short, the fall of 2010 was beyond nuts. A couple main things contributed to this. First, I started a new job. And I started at the worst possible time of the year. 4th quarter. When EVERYTHING is happening and changing in my industry. To say I was thrown into the deep end of the pool and told to swim... SWIM FAST is an understatement. Still... it is THE job I've always wanted and I hope that this is where I am to stay for the rest of my working days. I'm giving it my all and then some. On the work note.. my husbands job has been just as nuts and not only do they keep sending him on these little jaunts to Toronto for 2-3 days every other week, but they've started adding London every couple months for a good 7-10 crack. Hello single parent hood.
Next, we moved my mom down to live by us. It's been a blessing and a.. well.. I don't think curse is the right word. But.. a challenge. I now feel responsible for her happiness since she doesn't know anyone here. She's been a HUGE help to us and the biggest thing is that she now gets to see the boys a good 4-5 times a week. And let's face it, if it weren't for her, Jeff and I would probably never have a home cooked meal these days.
Last but not least, the boys. Da Boyz. Ah... my little miracles have been a challenge. I thing I trace it back to this stomach bug they caught in August. It completely destroyed their sleeping habits. That on top of a constant parade of sinus infections, ear infections, blah blah.. their sleep.. well.. it was shot to shit. And thus.. so was mine. The first two weeks at my new job, I went to work on 2-3 broken hours of sleep both nights. Not good for anyone, and I have to be ON. My job is high profile, high pressure. That pattern pretty much continued on until last week, I started putting my foot down and we went to sleep re-training boot camp. Things have gotten a bit better and I'm hopeful they will continue to improve.
I also think some of this directly relates to the fact that... well... they are 2. And they're professionals at it! Tantrums, toy stealing, pushing your brother down, jumping on brother, stalking brother for toy, looking at brother the wrong way.. OMG. Jeff and I agree on one thing: we actually feel more challenged by them now than when they were newborns. That is one bold statement!
Anyway.. if for nothing else, I have decided.. promised myself.. I will update this blog if only if it's 2 lines at least 4 times a week. Every day there is a new word, a new sentence and something that makes us laugh. Here are todays:
Alex: Alex was playing his electric guitar today. Daddy was pretending to head bang. He taught Alex to say ROCK N ROLL!!!! Hilarious.
Nate: Heard the above.. also yelling ROCK N ROLL!!
Nate: I always call Nate.. Na Nate. I don't know why.. but I do. I say it in almost a singing voice. Today... I called him that and he answered back with.. Na Nate! (insert his singing voice!)
Nate: Sitting eating dinner and Ni Hao Ki Lan was on Nick Jr. Part of one of the songs she sings is "we'll figure out (pause) what to do!" Nate: Figure out... what to do!" Hysterical!
Ben: Do you want to eat Ben? Ben.. BEN EAT!!!
Other milestones today:
Nate and Ben: They went to church for the first time! We sat in the cry room. They were well... kinda awful. We'll try again. Want to thank my lovely Heather for the text after church that I provided her with all the entertainment she needed during church watching me from the outside as I ran around the cry room after the crazy twins. I laughed when I saw that for sure!
Alex: while we were at church, Alex and his daddy went on a date. Home Depot. Alex held tools! They were real men! Then.. what do real men do? They go to McDonald's for a burger!
All in all great Sunday for the boys!
To make a long story short, the fall of 2010 was beyond nuts. A couple main things contributed to this. First, I started a new job. And I started at the worst possible time of the year. 4th quarter. When EVERYTHING is happening and changing in my industry. To say I was thrown into the deep end of the pool and told to swim... SWIM FAST is an understatement. Still... it is THE job I've always wanted and I hope that this is where I am to stay for the rest of my working days. I'm giving it my all and then some. On the work note.. my husbands job has been just as nuts and not only do they keep sending him on these little jaunts to Toronto for 2-3 days every other week, but they've started adding London every couple months for a good 7-10 crack. Hello single parent hood.
Next, we moved my mom down to live by us. It's been a blessing and a.. well.. I don't think curse is the right word. But.. a challenge. I now feel responsible for her happiness since she doesn't know anyone here. She's been a HUGE help to us and the biggest thing is that she now gets to see the boys a good 4-5 times a week. And let's face it, if it weren't for her, Jeff and I would probably never have a home cooked meal these days.
Last but not least, the boys. Da Boyz. Ah... my little miracles have been a challenge. I thing I trace it back to this stomach bug they caught in August. It completely destroyed their sleeping habits. That on top of a constant parade of sinus infections, ear infections, blah blah.. their sleep.. well.. it was shot to shit. And thus.. so was mine. The first two weeks at my new job, I went to work on 2-3 broken hours of sleep both nights. Not good for anyone, and I have to be ON. My job is high profile, high pressure. That pattern pretty much continued on until last week, I started putting my foot down and we went to sleep re-training boot camp. Things have gotten a bit better and I'm hopeful they will continue to improve.
I also think some of this directly relates to the fact that... well... they are 2. And they're professionals at it! Tantrums, toy stealing, pushing your brother down, jumping on brother, stalking brother for toy, looking at brother the wrong way.. OMG. Jeff and I agree on one thing: we actually feel more challenged by them now than when they were newborns. That is one bold statement!
Anyway.. if for nothing else, I have decided.. promised myself.. I will update this blog if only if it's 2 lines at least 4 times a week. Every day there is a new word, a new sentence and something that makes us laugh. Here are todays:
Alex: Alex was playing his electric guitar today. Daddy was pretending to head bang. He taught Alex to say ROCK N ROLL!!!! Hilarious.
Nate: Heard the above.. also yelling ROCK N ROLL!!
Nate: I always call Nate.. Na Nate. I don't know why.. but I do. I say it in almost a singing voice. Today... I called him that and he answered back with.. Na Nate! (insert his singing voice!)
Nate: Sitting eating dinner and Ni Hao Ki Lan was on Nick Jr. Part of one of the songs she sings is "we'll figure out (pause) what to do!" Nate: Figure out... what to do!" Hysterical!
Ben: Do you want to eat Ben? Ben.. BEN EAT!!!
Other milestones today:
Nate and Ben: They went to church for the first time! We sat in the cry room. They were well... kinda awful. We'll try again. Want to thank my lovely Heather for the text after church that I provided her with all the entertainment she needed during church watching me from the outside as I ran around the cry room after the crazy twins. I laughed when I saw that for sure!
Alex: while we were at church, Alex and his daddy went on a date. Home Depot. Alex held tools! They were real men! Then.. what do real men do? They go to McDonald's for a burger!
All in all great Sunday for the boys!
Sunday, September 12, 2010
The leaves are changing
It happens every year and it's happening again. I feel like it was just yesterday! I love seeing the leaves change. Fall is my favorite time of year for sure. It's always so beautiful on these fall sunny days.
So let's see.. what has changed at our house lately? Well.. what hasn't?
I always say I am going to be better about keeping the blog, and things should calm down, but I really mean it this time. Or rather.. hoping things calm down after the boys second birthday anyway!
August was totally eaten up by a couple things. First, my mom moved to be near us. This was a huge deal and practically as much work for me as it was for her. I had to help her search for a place to live, deal with the negotiations, $$, the hook ups, the movers, and last but not least, I had to sit on a Greyhound bus for 14 hours to get up to my home town to help her pack the uhaul and move. I then had to drive that freakin semi bus over the Mackinac Bridge and into Detroit. that was fun. NOT. That was how I spend a lovely 4 day weekend from work. In the 95 degree heat.
Once that was over, I had an even bigger situation to deal with. My job. I started my job last summer. I've never really been happy since for a variety of reasons. First, the work. It was not what I signed up for. Then the commute. If you are going to commute like that, it better be to something you love. Yeah.. see the first comment I made. On top of that, my husband has been traveling non stop and I've been single parenting alot. Alot. It was too much. At first we thought i might just quit and be a stay at home mom. I would LOVE that. And while we could get by on one income, we would be doing just that... getting by. And we are SO not used to that. So we made the decision I would look for something closer to home. And I did. And I found it. To say that I was kissed by an angel in this situation is an understatement. I got so lucky with this opportunity, I couldn't even question it and I jumped on it. I started my new job this past Monday!
So.. on we go to the fall and we march towards the boys 2nd birthday. They are a true joy and the joy grows everyday. We are in the stage now where we are learning a new word every hour. That everything has a name. It's so exciting to see them learn and discover daily. And I am so happy my mom is here to enjoy it.
I am in the thick of planning the boys birthday party. This year we will have a Yo Gabba Gabba theme and are having it at a children's play gym. Should be so fun for all the kids. We can't wait!
I stop and think daily how lucky I am. I'm healthy (fat but otherwise healthy!), my husband, children and mom are healthy. We have a great house with a beautiful new kitchen being installed, and great, amazing jobs. I have to pinch myself!
So let's see.. what has changed at our house lately? Well.. what hasn't?
I always say I am going to be better about keeping the blog, and things should calm down, but I really mean it this time. Or rather.. hoping things calm down after the boys second birthday anyway!
August was totally eaten up by a couple things. First, my mom moved to be near us. This was a huge deal and practically as much work for me as it was for her. I had to help her search for a place to live, deal with the negotiations, $$, the hook ups, the movers, and last but not least, I had to sit on a Greyhound bus for 14 hours to get up to my home town to help her pack the uhaul and move. I then had to drive that freakin semi bus over the Mackinac Bridge and into Detroit. that was fun. NOT. That was how I spend a lovely 4 day weekend from work. In the 95 degree heat.
Once that was over, I had an even bigger situation to deal with. My job. I started my job last summer. I've never really been happy since for a variety of reasons. First, the work. It was not what I signed up for. Then the commute. If you are going to commute like that, it better be to something you love. Yeah.. see the first comment I made. On top of that, my husband has been traveling non stop and I've been single parenting alot. Alot. It was too much. At first we thought i might just quit and be a stay at home mom. I would LOVE that. And while we could get by on one income, we would be doing just that... getting by. And we are SO not used to that. So we made the decision I would look for something closer to home. And I did. And I found it. To say that I was kissed by an angel in this situation is an understatement. I got so lucky with this opportunity, I couldn't even question it and I jumped on it. I started my new job this past Monday!
So.. on we go to the fall and we march towards the boys 2nd birthday. They are a true joy and the joy grows everyday. We are in the stage now where we are learning a new word every hour. That everything has a name. It's so exciting to see them learn and discover daily. And I am so happy my mom is here to enjoy it.
I am in the thick of planning the boys birthday party. This year we will have a Yo Gabba Gabba theme and are having it at a children's play gym. Should be so fun for all the kids. We can't wait!
I stop and think daily how lucky I am. I'm healthy (fat but otherwise healthy!), my husband, children and mom are healthy. We have a great house with a beautiful new kitchen being installed, and great, amazing jobs. I have to pinch myself!
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Words
I really do have to be better about writing on this blog if for no other reason than to remember what my boys are doing every day. And every day it's something new.
My boys have been slow to talk. Well.. not slow so to speak but not fast. They started with words around a year with the typical momma dadda stuff. Progressed on in different ways and each has had their own set of words. My boys are clearly more physically developed than alot of kids. Especially for high order multiples who were almost 7 weeks early. They hit all their milestones on track or early. I cannot keep them still. They climb everything. Run everywhere. Are doing stairs like champs. So the words thing has been a little slow to come on.
Until now.
We are in the middle of the "explosion" I was told would probably happen sometime before their 2nd birthday. Some of the favorites are:
Ball
Car
Swing
Sock
Shoe
Slide
Cat
Truck
Dog
bye
hi
No
Done
Up
down
milk
What's that?
Where is it?
Nate is quite good at singing the ABC's with the Leap Frog table
They love the Eee III EEE II OO from Old MacDonald song
Itsy Spider
and I have taught them to do 1...2... THREEE!!!!
And all of a sudden, it's like they understand everything. They *know*! One particular really awesome thing happened the other night. I was yelling at our dog Bailey and Alex got up and went over and started petting her and saying "Bailey". We were shocked! He knew exactly who Bailey was! The boys love the dogs but we didn't really know they knew them apart. So we said Alex.. where is Kali? He immediately went over and pet Kali. We asked "where's Ben?" He went and bopped Ben on the head. Of course we asked.. "where's Nate"? Went right to Nate. Then we asked.. where's Alex? He marched over to our entertainment center, bent down, looked at his reflection in the glass and pointed at it. We were dying! Amazing this kid! He is so freakin smart he scares us sometimes!
Besides that, they now only want to drink out of certain sippy cups and will shake their heads no until I offer the correct one. Lord help me. They can put the car back up on top of our roller coaster out in the backyard with no help. They have a battery powered car now that they can steer and push the gas peddle all on their own. Seriously.. they are growing up before my eyes.
Which of course I don't want them to do. I want to freeze them where they are now. Maybe this is why I have an appointment with my RE to talk about an FET in two weeks?????????????
My boys have been slow to talk. Well.. not slow so to speak but not fast. They started with words around a year with the typical momma dadda stuff. Progressed on in different ways and each has had their own set of words. My boys are clearly more physically developed than alot of kids. Especially for high order multiples who were almost 7 weeks early. They hit all their milestones on track or early. I cannot keep them still. They climb everything. Run everywhere. Are doing stairs like champs. So the words thing has been a little slow to come on.
Until now.
We are in the middle of the "explosion" I was told would probably happen sometime before their 2nd birthday. Some of the favorites are:
Ball
Car
Swing
Sock
Shoe
Slide
Cat
Truck
Dog
bye
hi
No
Done
Up
down
milk
What's that?
Where is it?
Nate is quite good at singing the ABC's with the Leap Frog table
They love the Eee III EEE II OO from Old MacDonald song
Itsy Spider
and I have taught them to do 1...2... THREEE!!!!
And all of a sudden, it's like they understand everything. They *know*! One particular really awesome thing happened the other night. I was yelling at our dog Bailey and Alex got up and went over and started petting her and saying "Bailey". We were shocked! He knew exactly who Bailey was! The boys love the dogs but we didn't really know they knew them apart. So we said Alex.. where is Kali? He immediately went over and pet Kali. We asked "where's Ben?" He went and bopped Ben on the head. Of course we asked.. "where's Nate"? Went right to Nate. Then we asked.. where's Alex? He marched over to our entertainment center, bent down, looked at his reflection in the glass and pointed at it. We were dying! Amazing this kid! He is so freakin smart he scares us sometimes!
Besides that, they now only want to drink out of certain sippy cups and will shake their heads no until I offer the correct one. Lord help me. They can put the car back up on top of our roller coaster out in the backyard with no help. They have a battery powered car now that they can steer and push the gas peddle all on their own. Seriously.. they are growing up before my eyes.
Which of course I don't want them to do. I want to freeze them where they are now. Maybe this is why I have an appointment with my RE to talk about an FET in two weeks?????????????
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Thankful
Thankful.
It’s a nice word but it doesn’t quite adequately capture what I am to have my boys in my life. It’s nice.. but it’s not strong enough. Humbled.. overjoyed… I don’t know. All of those words maybe. Of course, I’ve pretty much felt this way since the moment I pee’d on the stick and found out I was pregnant. Especially after the ultrasound when I saw them and heard their heartbeats. And with each day that goes by, and I get to know them better, I feel this way all over again and x’s 1000.
I am still reeling for my friend on the loss of her son. I read her blog yesterday and it sent me into another crying fit. She talked about how she finally did laundry and came across the clothes she was wearing the last time she held him. And there was a drool stain on her shirt from him and how she couldn’t bare to wash it. I don’t blame her one bit.
I still can’t wrap my brain around what has happened. Every day I see her siggie pics on our chat board with her son still there (of course) and I still can’t process that he’s gone. Or maybe I just don’t want to and if I ignore it, it will go away. But then I read her blog again. Or I see her most recent Facebook status. And I know it’s real. It really happened.
My sons are exactly one month younger than he was. I look at them every day and think.. what if? What if that were me? Yes, I know my sons are healthy and at this time, there is nothing to lead me to believe something will happen to one of them. But it’s hard not to ask yourself those questions and relate. This isn’t just another faceless person I read about in the daily paper obituary or heard about on tv. This child had a name and a face. He had two beautiful sisters and loving parents. He had a monkey shirt and match box cars.
I’ve survived a lot of crap in my days. But.. I don’t know if I could survive that. So I’ll continue to think of and pray for this family that somewhere out there, there is peace for them.
It’s a nice word but it doesn’t quite adequately capture what I am to have my boys in my life. It’s nice.. but it’s not strong enough. Humbled.. overjoyed… I don’t know. All of those words maybe. Of course, I’ve pretty much felt this way since the moment I pee’d on the stick and found out I was pregnant. Especially after the ultrasound when I saw them and heard their heartbeats. And with each day that goes by, and I get to know them better, I feel this way all over again and x’s 1000.
I am still reeling for my friend on the loss of her son. I read her blog yesterday and it sent me into another crying fit. She talked about how she finally did laundry and came across the clothes she was wearing the last time she held him. And there was a drool stain on her shirt from him and how she couldn’t bare to wash it. I don’t blame her one bit.
I still can’t wrap my brain around what has happened. Every day I see her siggie pics on our chat board with her son still there (of course) and I still can’t process that he’s gone. Or maybe I just don’t want to and if I ignore it, it will go away. But then I read her blog again. Or I see her most recent Facebook status. And I know it’s real. It really happened.
My sons are exactly one month younger than he was. I look at them every day and think.. what if? What if that were me? Yes, I know my sons are healthy and at this time, there is nothing to lead me to believe something will happen to one of them. But it’s hard not to ask yourself those questions and relate. This isn’t just another faceless person I read about in the daily paper obituary or heard about on tv. This child had a name and a face. He had two beautiful sisters and loving parents. He had a monkey shirt and match box cars.
I’ve survived a lot of crap in my days. But.. I don’t know if I could survive that. So I’ll continue to think of and pray for this family that somewhere out there, there is peace for them.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Another loss
I have spoke often of my MoMfia. My group of multiple moms. Our group is about 150. 100 really active in the group I would say. Today, May 21st was supposed to be a day of celebration. We were going to be celebrating the 1 year anniversary of the creation of the chat board that brought us so close. The Bump is actually where it all started. On their multiples board. But this private board that spun off from there is where we all call home now.
We're family.
With 100+ women, we don't always get along, like each other, or agree. But one thing is for certain, when push comes to shove, we are family and we rally around each other. Today, was supposed to be a day of celebrating that family. Instead, we are a grief stricken family in mourning.
Yesterday, a member of our family lost her 20 month old son, JW. JW was born at 27 weeks due to loss of amniotic fluid, which severely compromised his lung development. He was on oxygen since birth, but otherwise, a very happy normal child. JW caught a cold and it progressed. He did not recover. We are all devastated. Devastated for the loss of this beautiful child. Devastated for his mother and father and two sisters.
And... my family is reminded of those we've lost before. Not that we don't think of them always, but on days like this, those memories wash over you like high tide slapping you in the face. JW is the 5th child lost in 15 months in this group of 100 women.
I've been trying to make some sense of this all day and I really can't. I know people say everything happens for a reason, but over the last couple years, I have come to think those words are horse shit. Really? There is a reason JW is no longer with us? There is a reason children die at the hand of child abusers and of cancer or other terrible diseases? No.. I cannot see a reason for that. The only conclusion I come up with is that sometimes life really sucks. It's horrible and tragic. And it's just not fair. How do you go on? I truly hope I never have to find out, because knowing and caring about the people who are forced to figure that out is almost more than I can take.
So for tonight, I will count my blessings. Hug my boys tighter, love them longer, look into their eyes one more time. And I will never complain when they wake up in the middle of the night, are sick with a cold, or have pooped through another outfit. At least I am lucky enough to have perspective. And to be able to hug them whenever I want.
We're family.
With 100+ women, we don't always get along, like each other, or agree. But one thing is for certain, when push comes to shove, we are family and we rally around each other. Today, was supposed to be a day of celebrating that family. Instead, we are a grief stricken family in mourning.
Yesterday, a member of our family lost her 20 month old son, JW. JW was born at 27 weeks due to loss of amniotic fluid, which severely compromised his lung development. He was on oxygen since birth, but otherwise, a very happy normal child. JW caught a cold and it progressed. He did not recover. We are all devastated. Devastated for the loss of this beautiful child. Devastated for his mother and father and two sisters.
And... my family is reminded of those we've lost before. Not that we don't think of them always, but on days like this, those memories wash over you like high tide slapping you in the face. JW is the 5th child lost in 15 months in this group of 100 women.
I've been trying to make some sense of this all day and I really can't. I know people say everything happens for a reason, but over the last couple years, I have come to think those words are horse shit. Really? There is a reason JW is no longer with us? There is a reason children die at the hand of child abusers and of cancer or other terrible diseases? No.. I cannot see a reason for that. The only conclusion I come up with is that sometimes life really sucks. It's horrible and tragic. And it's just not fair. How do you go on? I truly hope I never have to find out, because knowing and caring about the people who are forced to figure that out is almost more than I can take.
So for tonight, I will count my blessings. Hug my boys tighter, love them longer, look into their eyes one more time. And I will never complain when they wake up in the middle of the night, are sick with a cold, or have pooped through another outfit. At least I am lucky enough to have perspective. And to be able to hug them whenever I want.
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