Happy Anniversary to Us!!

Wow.. 3 years ago today, we got married!

I can't believe how much things have changed in these three years. It really is mind blowing. And even how much they have changed since last year. Last Thanksgiving, we were technically supposed to be going to the UP to spend the holiday with my family but we had to cancel due to our first IVF schedule. I couldn't leave town. That whole week as a cluster F*ck. That cycle was a cluster f*ck.

And look at us now! 3 years, and 3 babies later. Who would have thought? Here's a wedding pic for fun!

As luck would have it, today is also Thanksgiving! Originally, our wedding was the Sunday after Thanksgiving, but we knew our anniversary would fall on the holiday quite often over the years. At least I know I'll be getting a big dinner and champagne! My sister and her husband and two kids are coming over today. That's it. Oh wait.. Jeff's aunts are supposed to stop by also. So there will be company.

Have I mentioned that I did not sleep last night? The babies kept me up all night. It was one of those nights where they were tag teaming. One would go down, another would get up. Finally after the 6am feeding, I did my feeding and handed the torch to my mom so I could seep for about 3 hours. I think I got three hours. I am hoping to get some more zzz's after the 1pm feeding before the company comes. But hey, at least I showered and washed my hair! I am ok with falling asleep in my turkey. That's what this day is about right? Food and sleep?!?!

Anyway.. the babies are doing FABULOUS. They were weighed by the home nurses on Tuesday and came in at:
Nate: 8 pounds even
Alex: 7 pounds 12 ounces
Ben: 6 pounds 6 ounces

AMAZING!! They are also out of preemie clothes! My due date is Dec. 2 so they are right on track! BIG BOYS!!!!

4 weeks old!!

WOW.. how the time flies. I just cannot believe the boys are already 4 weeks old! And I have become a deadbeat blogger!

I have NO time. Ever. We are still feeding the boys every three hours. It takes at least one hour to do this. And if someone is fussy or not feeling like going back down to sleep, it can take alot longer than that! So it's a constant rotation of sleeping, changing and feeding. And whoever is the dope that said "sleep when they sleep" obviously did not have triplets. After each feeding, I pump. After I pump, there are a myriad of things to do. Such as: shower, eat, clean, laundry, run an errand, take the dogs out.. and god forbid if I have to leave the house. It's an event now.

We had the visiting nurses come this morning to do weights and measurements. My pediatrician suggested we try to get this done this way as opposed to having to bring all three out to the Dr's and pay $20 copay for each boy just to get them weighed. Which they have to be due to their preemie hood. And drum roll please.. today the boys weighed:

Nate: 7 pounds 3 ounces
Alex: 6 pounds 14 ounces
Ben: 5 pounds 11 ounces

They have all gained almost 2 pounds since birth! They finally weigh as much as normal babies almost!! It's funny because they are starting to feel huge to me since they were SOOOO tiny when I had them and brought them home. Remember, Nate and Alex were barely 5 pounds and Ben 3 pounds 10 ounces when they sent them home! So a 7 pound baby!!?!?!?! WOW..... I am so thrilled!

One thing we are not thrilled with is that the boys were denied for Synagis shots. The RSV shots. Unreal how they can deny 33 week birth triplets. But apparantly since my husband and I are smart enough to NOT smoke a pack a day in the house, they are to healthy. Good lord.

The boys are definitely developing personalities too. As certainly noticeable in their sleeping!

Alex is soooo layed back. Also known as the A- man, Alexander the Great! He sleeps, he hardly cries.. he's alert, he's a total sweetie. His only issue at all is that he spits alot while feeding. It had me worried a bit that he may have some reflux issues but the Dr. says no. It's normal. I know I know... but I worry! And he's CUTE. oh boy.. soooo cute! He is a dream baby!

Nate is demanding. Also known as Nate-Dog. Natey. He eats like a dream. Takes his whole bottle and doesn't spit at all! Soooo easy to feed. But when he wants to be fed? Or when he doesn't feel like being in the crib? Watch out! He will let you know. He is the total stereo type baby that when you pick him up, he completely stops crying. Take him in bed with me? stops crying! Sleeps like a dream! He is also alert and loves to look around. Mostly though.. he loves to hear my voice. When I talk, he is in a trance and calms down. I am his mommy for sure!

Ben, AKA.. Benjamin Buttons, Benjamin Bunny, Benjamin-jamin. Small by mighty! He eats really great to but is the middle of Nate and Alex. Doesn't spit as much as Alex, but not as clean as Nate. Somewhere in the middle. Also just like his identical twin, Nate.. when he wants to be picked up or out of that crib, you know it! He is very vocal! But Soooo alert for a little guy! He sleeps almost as good as Alex and better than Nate. He is quickly gaining on his brothers in weight and it's so funny to see how much he is really starting to look like Nate!

So I need to get some pictures up. Jeff is gone for work now but they are coming soon!

Tribute to the NICU

Some shots of us in the NICU. They were even decking them out for Halloween!

Anyway.. I always knew from the start of my pregnancy that my babies would end up in the NICU. It's a scary thought. No one wants their child to start life like that. But with triplets, prematurity is inevitable and thus, the NICU is as well.

As I posted before, I did not get to see my babies until they were 32 hours old. I was horribly upset about it but knew there was nothing I could do. As much as I wanted to see them, I was way to sick to even try. When I was finally rolled into the NICU that Tuesday night, I was of course, over come by the emotion of seeing them for the first time, but also finally relieved that I knew they were in a fantastic place. Even though my babies were only in there for 8 days. I really loved going to the NICU to see them.

I am sure it's the case with all NICU's or at least, I hope it is. It was just such a calming and serene environment. I felt safe and taken care of in there!! The lighting, the sounds, everything. The nurses who took care of my babies were seriously angels on a mission. I would just sit back and watch them not only with my babies, but with all of them and I am now convinced there is no more noble job in the world as to care for these sick infants. To be there life line and love when their parents are not there. Talk about having to put trust in people? I trust my husband with my life and these women ran a close second.

One experience I had in there second night I was there (babies were 2 days old) is something I will probably never forget and will forever remind me of how blessed we have been:

Our hospital is huge. The biggest in the state. They divide their NICU up into pods A - F. A being the least sick babies who are mainly there just for a quick observation trip and F being the most severe and critical cases. Each pod can house about 10-12 babies at once. My boys spent their time in pod B. While we were there, my 3 boys occupied the isolettes on one whole outside wall of the pod. Directly across from them was a little girl in an isolette. I knew she was girl due to all the pink blankets, clothes and little toys surrounding her in her isolette. I went to the NICU 2-3 times a day so I kept seeing the mother of this baby girl. She was a very pretty middle eastern looking girl about my age. And she looked completely run down. Torn up.. you name it. Of course, I was two days post surgery and looking big bloated, and in my hospital gown finery. That second full day up there, she spoke to me.

Are those your triplet boys? She asked me. I went over and said yes.. they sure are. She asked me how long I carried them and I told her 33 weeks, 6 days. She asked me about their health and I proudly bragged that they were all doing so well and how blessed we were because of it.

I asked about her daughter and how long she'd been in. She then told me that this baby girl had been in the NICU for a total of 10 weeks and counting. But they were encouraged as she had just been moved to the B pod. She also told me that this baby girl was also a triplet and the only one of her triplets that survived. Hers were born at 26 weeks and the other two were still born. She told me how lucky I was.

I could hardly choke out the words I was happy for her that their baby was doing so well and how beautiful she was. I had to leave the conversation. I ran into the pumping room and just burst into tears. I couldn't believe I just sat there saying how lucky I was to this poor women who was sitting there trying to keep her last triplet alive. The next day, the baby moved to the other side of the pod.

I know I had no way of knowing that women's situation, but it sure did remind me how lucky we are. And more importantly, it takes a special kind of person to be a NICU parent. Not the kind I was lucky enough to be: a short timer. But to be a NICU parent who has to dedicate months to that trip up to the hospital two times a day or so for an indefinite amount of time. It's all so beautiful and sad at the same time.

Even though we were only there a short time, a couple nurses asked me if I would be interested in being a NICU parent liason. That is, I will be a support/ coach to new NICU parents if I choose to do it. I really hope things calm down for me here at home cause I think this is something I really want to do. I just think these people are angels on earth and the parents who are in for the long haul might need someone like me to come cry with them or feed with them or whatever.

They are here!!!!!!!!!!!

Whew... where has the time gone on me already? My babies are already 8 days old! I am just now getting back to life. A changed life.. but a better one. A new begining!

So the birth story. I am going to type it all out so I can remember the day years from now and share it with the boys..

I had entered the hospital on October 13 for a variety of reasons. I felt like crap. Couldn't move, horrid painful hemoriods, pelvic pressure, protein in the urine, massive endema (swelling), I was blowing up like a blowfish in general! Blood pressure was on the rise. My Dr. said.. that was it. Check in. I was 32 weeks 6 days and my Dr. wanted me to still hit 34 weeks before I delivered.

As I said in my previous post, I was miserable.. delerious! My dr. said if I thought I would be more comfy, I could go home. After all, the c section was scheduled for Wednesday so I should do whatever made me most comfortable. I left. We got home about 10 am on Sunday. I gave it my best, I really did. But by 7:00 sunday night, I think I was worse than ever. Jeff called Dr. V to tell him.. and beg him, to move it up to Monday. He agreed.

I got all checked in on Monday and they did one more urine test with lab work and off to the OR I went. Got the spinal block.. which I am sorry. Hurt like a BITCH. They get me all laid out on the table and next thing I know someone comes in and says.. she's full blown pre-eclamptic now and she needs another IV for the Magnesium!! Well, my Dr was like.. it's to late, we've started. They did put the IV in my other arm but they couldn't start the Mag drip now till I was in recovery. My heavy breathing continued a bit even with being numb from the chest to the toes.

The next few minutes really were magical for being half out of it on drugs. Jeff and I were hoping each baby would cry upon birth, but you never know so we didn't have our hopes up. Each of our 3 babies came out screaming!! Oh boy were they screaming!!! After my Dr. pulled them out, he handed them off and they were wisked into the room next store where the Neonatal teams were waiting for each baby. They cleaned each of them up and brought them into us just briefly. I can't remember to much but I remember thinking.. they are PERFECT. So beautiful. They handed each of them to Jeff very quickly and he held them down to me so I could kiss their cheeks and see them. They looked like little caterpillers in their cocoon. So so cute!

After the birth, I they went to work on me. We had long discussed the possible complications of the birth I was going to have.. blood transfusions due to excessive loss of blood is very common and sometimes a hysterectomy is necessary. I was ok with whatever they needed to do. I am told this part was fine. I just remember shivering and shaking and still not being able to breathe at this point.

Next I was moved to recovery, where all of the above symptoms just got worse. I was gasping for air so the next thing I know, they put an oxygen mask on me and I had the Magnesium drip put in right away as well. The rest is a morphine blur but I was consious and remember some of it. Basically, my heart rate started crashing. Normal is in the 80's and 90's. Mine was about 41. My blood pressure was shooting into the 200's making this a potentially lethal combination. They said I had a lot of fluid on my lungs and were getting very concerned about pulminary embalysm/ clots in the heart and lungs. It was here I knew something was really wrong with me. Not to sound silly but I remember someone dying on an episode of ER from a pulminary embalysm. I also remember the EKG machine getting rolled in and having that done and the two cardiologists....

It was like a scene from TV or a movie. There were literally like 10 Dr's and nurses standing next to me in recovery all staring at my vital screens with their mouths open. Jeff said at one point, my ob told him to go hold my hand and Jeff was like.. what??? Is this the end?? Then he got my mom out of the room too.

I was in recovery for about 5 hours until they moved me to a labor and delivery private room across from recovery. I was not stable enough to move, let alone to the post partum floor. My last treat to end the day was a trip to the CAT scan to make sure they could rule out the clots and whatever. They kept me there over night with one on one nursing care and a Dr. checking on me every 2 hours. I was woke every 45 minutes for vitals and what not. I had 3 freakin IV's at this point too. Oh my.. the holes in my arms.

By Tuesday morning, I guess I turned the corner cause I was so thirsty. I didn't give a crap that I had not eaten since dinner Sunday night: all I wanted to do was drink Lake Michigan. No go. I had to beg for ice chips and was granted. They were gold! But.. sadly, I still had not met my babies. I couldn't do anything.. mostly due to the magnesium drip. Finally at 5 that night, they said I could move as I wasn't critical anymore. They moved me on my bed to post partum and once I got up there, they let me eat some soup and drink water.. and.. get out of bed for the first time in like 36 hours!

Last but not least.. I had not yet sot to see my babies yet except for the 30 seconds in the OR. They were born at noon on Monday.. and here it was 7:00 pm on Tuesday and I was finally wheeled into the NICU. To say I was totally overcome by emotion upon seeing them is the understatment of the year. It was the most special and important moments of my life holding them for the first time.

So that's that. The birth story. I am doing fine, (ok.. except for the side to side incision that required 16 staples, the massive edema, and the fact that I still look freaking 8 months pregnant!) but I guess I have an abnormally low heart rate. I have always known I had low blood pressure if anything but I guess as with high, the other extreme can be a bad thing too. So, I do have to see a cardiologist now that the problem reared it's ugly head. As it has been since we started trying to have a baby in October of 2006, nothing has been easy. I tend to take the road less traveled. I mean come on.. who else do you know who's c section ended with an EKG, CAT scans, cardiologists...... yep, that's me! But, it was worth the ride!

More pics coming in the next day or so and I really want to write about our experience having the three babies in the NICU. But till then.. I have 3 babies to feed! YAHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

33 weeks and Counting

Well another week under the belt. Wait.. I couldn't wear a belt if I wanted to. I haven't measured my waist at all in this. I should. I doubt the tap would go around me.

Well, first of all we are in the home stretch. I got admitted to the hospital Monday night. I had so many things going on and my dr. was like.. pack your bags. First and foremost, the swelling was just to an alarming point It was already hard to walk and then my feet and my ankles no longer had separation. It's become increasingly hard to breath also. So those things on top of the carpo tunnel, hemmoroids, inability pretty much walk with the extreme pelvic pressure AND was hitting 33 weeks the next day. That was it.

Tuesday was pretty uneventful. They ran me on the 24 hour urine test.. AGAIN and all the labs 3 times a day. Blood pressure turned out to be way out of wack too. I was scoring any where from 126 to 152's. Really odd. I just could NOT get comfortable in this damn bed which was my big fear from the start.

On a brighter note, my mom arrived Tuesday night so it was great to see her. Good help Jeff and her living together in peace till I get home. They are both excellent people. My mom can be quirky I guess is the word. And I know she feels out of sorts moving into my house. Boy do we need her! Jeff was like.. she's been here for 2 hours and there are already Halloween decorations in the yard. Gotta love a mom.

I had thought a couple times over the last day or so that I may have pee'd myself. Well, it happened once yesterday and then after the second time it happened today, I mentioned it to my nurse. They promptly got me a pad and said they were not going to 'observe the output'. Lovely. Nurse comes back a few later and I was having a hard time catching my breath and I was on the monitors which were clearly showing contractions. She was like.. I am getting the dr.

She gets the resident. Next thing I know.. there are 3 nurses a doctor stripping off my pants in a hurry. Slap me down and I am getting basically a pap. They were thinking my membranes ruptured or my water was breaking. As she's in there the dr goes.. 'oh yes, I see some rupture and the fluid' ok.. as they are doing this, they stuck a bed pan under me and I can feel the fluid dripping out of me like crazy. So they had to take a sample of the fluid.

They run out. Not 3 minutes later.. my OB runs in.. ok.. now I am panicing. They paged him right away and he happened to be on the floor over in delivery. Turns out my sample was about 98% negative on the amniotic fluid but there were traces. So they don't think my membranes ruptured or a water broke, but that some fluid was trickling out. So I have to wear pads and they have to be checked every two hours and they moved me up to another ultrasound at 8 am on Thursday measure the fluid of each baby again. And.. instead of waiting till tomorrow, I recieved my first steroid shot immediatly Wed. afternoon.

Went in for the u/s first thing and the babies and fluid still look fine. Fluid was lower but apparently over the normal range. So it is so strange. I am still wearing pads and still leaking. Contractions have totally picked up. One every 10 minutes at all monitorings today and they are getting stronger. Got second steriod shot tonight.

So what will come first? The c section or the babies trying to escape? Any thoughts?

On a heavier hearted note.. today, October 16th is the 16th anniversary of my dad's passing. How I wish he would be here to meet his grandson's. This one is for you dad. I love you and miss you very much. Watch over all of us this week.

32 Weeks and 12 Pounds of Baby.

Wow.. here we are.. another week in and another week at home. Here are some updated pics of "the belly". Good Gawd. Ok.. Jeff forced me into posting that top pic because he think's that gives the full effect.

I think I look like I shoved 4 pillows under a sheet and am ready for trick or treating. So I like to pull my shirt tight to give me some resemblance of a body. But, I am measuring 45 weeks now so what do I expect to look like, right? I give up..

Anyway.. we are only 3 days into the week and already I am over it. Monday I had to meet with my MFM. Immediately, he thought I was "puffy" and not in the P-diddy kind of way. The bad way. And my urine showed more protein that usual. I was a bit emotional as lets face it.. I ain't movin very good these days. He ordered me to do that @!#!&#^% 24 hour urine test again. OMG.. the bain of my existance. And.. to do tons of blood work and said he was officially sitting my Ob down to make some decisions (they work in the same office, same practice). I said he would like to admit me to do the testing. I was like look.. I have a $250 in patient copay. I am not getting admitted unless you plan to keep me for the duration. For $250 I can get a room at the Hilton with room service. So.. he agreed to let me go home.

So that brings me to Tuesday. It started at 1:00 with my bio physical profiles and growth and weight u/s. It took FOREVER and resulted in my panic attack and almost passing out at least twice from laying mostly on my back with the pressure of these babes. We were there for 3 hours. It was very difficult to get clear shots of all the babes due to their size and how intertwined they now are. They all passed their bio profiles immediately again (no slacking from Ben this time), however.. they had to re do the growth/weight on him 3 times and get the Dr's opinion before we could go. And.. of course the Dr. spent 45 minutes getting to us. We were a bit pissed.

So.. while I am told all the results were totally normal and everyone looks good, of course I am worried about Twin B. He is now a full half pound behind the other two. Fraternal triplet was 4.1, Twin A was 4.6 and Twin B was only 3.8. He is in the 15% percentile for weight. The Dr.'s and even my friend who just had twins had to remind me today that not all multiples are born weighing the same. Like Melissa said that her twins were over a pound different at birth.

Anyway.. I was a bit emotional and like I said, laying there for over 2 hours on my back literally just about killed me. But together.. they have hit the 12 pound mark now. After that, we had to race to the lab cause due to length of that, my pee was now almost 2 hours late and I was afraid I was going to have to re do that. They said they would still take it. So we did that and then did the blood work.

Next up.. race upstairs to my 4:00 with my OB. I was pretty much visibly a mess by this time so I got hugs from everyone and my Ob was like.. ok.. I can walk you over and admit you right now if you want.. I can see you're upset. They calmed me down and he agreed with the MFM, that I am puffy and my blood pressure is now hovering in the 130's which is still fine, but it is elevating. My cervix however.. is still fine.

So... at the end of it all we agreed to wait till tomorrow and see how all the bloodwork and pee comes back from the lab. If it is at all questionable.. I get admitted. If not, I can be admitted any second I want and we agreed no later than next Tuesday at 33 weeks and we'll pick the day for delivery. Today.. Ob called. All labs fine. I told him I was live another day at home. There are pros and cons to going into the hospital and staying home. Primary for staying home is my bed. I can move around, change positions on my pillow top king bed. I can't see that a small hospital bed is going to be where I want to be for two weeks.

So.. until something forces me in or I can't take it anymore. I am home.

31 weeks 2 days...

Another week down and 3 to go.

And what a week it's been. I know we infertility patients are not supposed to complain about their pregnancies at all so if that is your view.. stop reading now! You've been warned!

I am having a really tough time. I have had several crying jags in the last few days due to how miserable I am.

*disclaimer*
I totally want these babies to cook for at least 2 more weeks no matter how miserable I am. Their health is THE most important thing in the world to me.

But just so I can remind them some day of what it took to get them here, I am listing my 'issues':

- The pulled/strained muscles from my uterus pulling and the babies moving all over
- The sciatic pain that wakes me up at least every 90 minutes while I try to sleep
- My teeth and gums are so swollen and sore I can hardly chew
- My carpo tunnel is coming back in both hands
- My pelvic pain and pressure is so bad I literally can hardly walk. Definitely not without limping and holding the bottom of my stomach, which is SO heavy on me now
- TMI... I have the worst hemmoroids. Ever.
- My entire body is just.. useless. Sore. I can't move.
- Sleep? forget it.

I firmly believe that it will not be the babies that put me into the delivery room, I think it will be the fact that my body is shutting down on me.

We did have our biophysical profiles and appt with Dr. V on Tuesday. We passed our bio profiles, although no thanks to Mr. Ben who really wanted to sleep through his this time. And my cervix and all checked out wonderful.

And even though I feel like shit, apparantly, all 4 of us are still doing amazing. I know he could see it on my face that I was about to lose it, as did the two nurses. He put his arm around me and let me know I am his star triplet mom. And not only am I doing everything I am told and cooking my babies like a rockstar, but apparantly I am a favorite of all the nurses there who tell me that I am a pure pleasure to work with. I was like what? Who? Me???

I am going to call the office tomorrow if this pelvic pain is still this bad. I am going to beg to be admitted next week after my 32 week check up if I am not before that. I also made him promise to deliver the babies before he leaves on October 24th. My 34 week mark is October 21. So I pleaded with him to please take care of us before he goes away. Or I'll be in the trunk of his car. Or in the loony ward at the hospital anyway.

So that's the update. I am thrilled that I have made it this far. I know I saw that on every entry but every week.. every day is sooo important right now.