Officially in the 2nd Trimester!!!

I seriously can't believe it! I have actually made it this far!! After not having made it out of week 5 without major drama and knowing the pregnancy wouldn't last in my other 3 pregnancies, it is sooo hard for me to believe that we are in the second trimester with triplets!!

I've been feeling pretty good since the bleeding incident. Well, I should say that good to me is probably really shitty to other pregnant women. I really am tired all the time and going up the stairs of my house takes the breath out of me. I wasn't in the best shape of my life running 5 miles a day like I used to when this pregnancy started (which I blame on the 17 months of surgeries, ectopics, fertility treatments and just overall depression =) but damn! Who would have thought I would lose breath going up my stairs!

I had another ultrasound this past week at exactly 13 weeks and all three little munchkins were doing just fine again. This Friday, when I am 14 weeks, 3 days, I will be having a level 2 ultrasound to check for growth and development. I will have one of these every other week until I hit 20 weeks. Then I will have one every week from there on out.

We've officially started shopping for everything. I have to. I may only have 6-10 weeks of being able to be out and about left in me before permanent bed rest! We've been looking into cribs hard core this past week. It's kind of a bummer. The really excellent quality ones are like $400+ and while that would be fine if we only needed one, we really do have to economize since we need 3 plus the mattresses. Jeff's mom has offered us $1000 towards the cribs & mattress (thank god), so we are really trying to get what we need for that $1000. Which means no $400 cribs for each of our babes. And then there's the stroller situation. Holy crap. Let's just say that when you need a triplet stroller, your options are limited and the good one is over $1000!! And of course, ideally it is compatible with infant car seats in the begining so you can snap and go. Well, the only car seat that it is compatible with is $250 a piece!! So.. again.. we'll have almost $2000 into this thing by the time all is said and done. Thank god my mom is offering up $$ to cut our expense in half on this too. If only we could find a good used one. But.. you know if someone else has triplets and been using the thing for a couple years, then it probably isn't in the best shape. ahhh.. it's all a consipiracy!

Anyway.. I am a bit nervous about my impending ultrasounds. It's now when they would find something if something was wrong with one of the babies. I am getting more comfortable in that their hearts will still be ticking.. but what else could be out there? ugh..

Loving the modified bedrest!

Here is a picture of the belly at exactly 12 weeks..

Can you say huge? What the hell am I going to look like at 20 weeks? 30??

Anyway.. really loving the modified bedrest thing. Can I stay like this for the rest of my pregnancy please? I LOVE that I was told to take it easy. I.E. sleep, nap, rest, watch tv, read.. AND.. I can still get up to go to the kitchen, walk around for a few minutes every hour or so. But rest. I have loved it. I have even hardly been on the computer. It's been nice not the be tied to the computer. While I am really enjoying the relaxing, I have no desire to go through the bleeding episode again that got me here.

I have also found this week that the menstral-like cramping is back full force. I had plenty of this in the beginning at about 6 weeks. Then again at about 8-9 weeks. And holy crap. It's worse than ever now. I am assuming the trips are having a growth spurt but it doesn't do anything for my peace of mind. Especially when you add the cramping, to the continuous leakage of the progesterone suppositories on top of the fear of blood. Yeah.. good cocktail for total freak out neurosis 24/7.

I have ventured out of the house a few times now. Friday, I went to get a few groceries. Saturday, I went to Babies R Us to look into/buy bedding. Jeff and I have only been looking at gender neutral bedding with high hopes that the trips are a mixed bunch. I never really thought I would find GN bedding that I would love. I figured I would find something I could live with. But we did find someting we loved AND we completely agreed on!! Well.. I wanted to add it to my registry but Babies R us is fazing the line out. Of course. So we decided to buy it now and if we do find out the trips are all boys or girls, we'll just return it.

Here is the link to the bedding and model of our nursery as we stand today:
http://www.wendybellissimo.com/products/product_detail.php?id=65

Saturday night, we also went to our friends, Mark and Sonja's. They gave us our first baby gift! Rattles, pacifiers, and a picture frame for ultrasound pics from the 3 trimesters. Sooo awesome!

Other than that, we did more cleaning today. Probably more than I should have again, but I stopped after like an hour this time and went really slow. And here I am in bed relaxing again!

The First Scare

So..I had some major drama this week. I should have known this pregnancy was going along to smoothly that something had to happen sooner or later.

I had gone out to eat with some friends after work and went to the bathroom at PF changs just as we were leaving and everything was fine. I got home sat and talked with Jeff for about an hour. Went upstairs and was going to lay down and relax so I went to the bathroom again. I always wear a panty liner cause of the progesterone supps and this time, the panty liner was full of brown blood and a bit of red. But full. Just like that.. in an hour. But I didn't seem to be bleeding right then.

I of course FREAKED called the doctor. He says.. ok.. no work tomorrow, go to bed immediately and stay off your feet. Come in at noon when I get there and we'll do another ultrasound. Not to urgent since the blood was all brown and I didn't think I was bleeding then.

woke up at 3am to pee. Nothing. No blood. Woke up at 6am to pee. Blood again. and a small clot. Then I really FREAKED. Hysteria sets in. Going to ER. Call Dr. again, he says come to office at 7:30, he'll meet me there, it will be faster. What a great Dr. to go in and meet me when he sooo did not have to!

Go in.. get pelvic exam. He says no active blood. Just brown old blood. Get ultrasound (mind you, I am sobbing hysterically at this point) all three babies moving and ticking hearts beating away.
Diagnosis? Well..threatened miscarriage caused by a few things:

1. Irritated cervix from many growing pains
2. broken blood vessels
3. growing pains forced out old blood
4. placental irritation.


No way to tell for sure. One thing is for sure.. It was my wake up call to SLOW down. My Dr. said.. You are not to continue life as normal. O.V.E.R.

So.. I am on house arrest/modified bed rest until next Tuesday when I go back unless something happens that it gets worse. No work until next Tuesday.

I am exhausted from my hysterics. I slept all day Tuesday after I got home from the dr. I've been so tired and exhausted that maybe this really was my wake up call to slow down for sure. No more acting 'normal'. I really needed a break. This was perfect timing really. I have been sleepwalking for the past couple weeks. I really have not recovered from the trip to NYC. I sleep like shit every night due to getting up to pee all the time and then it takes me like an hour to go back to sleep. Having this time off to be able to nap during the day has made a HUGE difference. HUGE. My babies come first and no matter what, I am listening to my body from here on out.

On a more fun and positive note, showering planning is in full swing!! How exciting! I never thought that i would actually be having a my very own baby shower! Actually.. three! One each triplet I like to think. They each get their own. when I find out what they are and we hae names.. I want to have like a cup cake or something with each of their names on it at one of the showers so that they know each of them were individually special to me from the very start. Gay I know. But I love my babies!!

Worlds Worst Blogger!

omg.. I can't believe it's been almost 3 weeks since I've updated. I can only plead.... so busy I can't see straight.

As I bitched about before. Work is horrendous. Not that I shouldn't be able to fill 8 hours while I am there but there is no break for the 9 or so that I am there. I haven't taken a lunch hour more than twice since my best buddy left on April 4th. So I get there, I work from the time I sit down, through lunch (of course I eat - several times a day at my desk) and until the clock hits about 4:30-5:00. Sometimes I do leave a few early to get a break on the construction traffic that also has me sitting in the car an extra hour or so every day.

I know my boss is pissed. But even if I wasn't pregnant, I still would NOT be willing to work 14 hours a day right now. I just don't care enough and that's the bottom line. I don't like my job. I've been there for the IVF benefits for the last 14 months. And I'll stay there for the next 3 months till I go out on disability, maternity leave, and then FMLA. I have to bite my tounge on a daily basis to not say what I really want to say to my boss. My only hope is that in the 8 months or so total that I am gone, things change. But I will be looking for new job as soon as I am ready to go back to work.

Anyway.. enough time wasted on my job crap. I was also gone on vacation for 5 days. Jeff and I went to New York. We went to see the Tigers play the Yankees, did a broadway show, visited with my niece and Jeff's sister, went to see the progress at Ground Zero, and of course, shopped and ate at some fabulous New York places.

Another very awesome thing we did was to meet up with one of my favorite girls from the Nest board, Wannalil1, aka. Ann Marie. That was so great to meet her. Even though we only got to spend an hour with her, she was just as personable and fun as I imagined she would be. I know if we lived in the same city, we would totally hang out!

In other BIG news, my good friend TheSkimmy (aka. Kim) had her baby last Friday, May 2. Charlie is here! I am so mad he came when I was out of town. But I am looking forward to meeting him this weekend!

Last but not least... The triplets are still going strong. I had an ultrasound on April 29th before we left for vacation. All three little hearts were beating strong. This was also our last appointment with Dr. Abuzeid, our RE. We graduated to the OBGYN and Perinatologist. I see my new OB for the first time on Tuesday, May 13. I hope to have an ultrasound as at that point, it will have been 2 weeks since the last. I gotta be honest, it's making me sweat. What if? That's all I think. I HATE that I do think like that, but let's face it, TTC has been a shitty experience for me and 3 pregnancy losses later, I am what I am.

For now, I try to assume everything is ok. I have totally popped out already and am showing like crazy! For 10 weeks, it's just ridiculous. I have been in full on maternity clothes for the second week now. I look more like I am 15-18 weeks pregnant. Seriously.. if I am this big at 10 weeks, I shutter at what 15 or 20 is going to look like. I am still hungry like crazy. oh well.. I'll take it!

Feeling... f.a.t

Man.. I am starting to show already. The nurse said that by 10 weeks I should be popping out quite a bit so get ready. That the normal person most likely starts to show around 13-15.. I need to back that up a few weeks. I've been wearing nothing but stretchy things and draw string cargo pants.

I actually allowed myself to walk into a maternity store for the first time in my life on Friday. I went in and bought a bella band so I could still wear my jeans. It was like entering into a new club I had never been allowed to join before. There were so many cute little pregnant women in there looking fabulous. I sorta felt like a member, but who am I kidding. I might be sort cute during this pregnancy for about 5 weeks and then I am just going to be a whale. But that's ok. I'll be a whale if that means I have 3 healthy children.

On that note, I see the RE again on Tuesday and will have another ultrasound with him. Then, I have my first appointment with the Perinatologist/MFM on Friday. This pregnancy will certainly be a whirlwind of Dr. appointments. I am trying to stay positive but it has a healthy side of worry. I am worried enough with this whole mono to mono twin thing. I have been trying to block it out. If I don't, I get beside myself.

I am also going to speak to one or both of my Dr's about getting a note from work. I hate my job on a normal day (ok.. sans the 100% IVF coverage and healthy chunk of $ they pay me) and lately.. it's been unbearable. Someone quit at work and they've dumped 80% of her work on me + another client. I was working 45-50 hours a week before this all happened. And if I hear my boss say to me one more time that they are really looking to lean on me to step up and get all this done, I am really going to lose my shit. I wanted to scream at him on Friday.. were you not fucking present at the conversation I had with you on Tuesday that I have just entered into a horribly difficult high risk pregnancy?????? Did you hear a word I said? I almost lost it on him. But I checked myself for a moment and remembered: I could very well be out of there for 8 months to a year in the next 12 weeks. I just need to let my Dr's do the talking for me. So I love that I will be asking for a note already that says I am not to work more than 40 hours per week.

On the positive.. it's been a real hoot telling people I am pregnant with triplets! I should have brought a camera around with me. It's been just hilarious!

Ok.. off for some pie tonight. Have I mentioned I am an eating machine??? LOL

So much for uneventful!!!

Well, we've had quite the 24 hours. We had our first ultrasound yesterday at 6 weeks 6 days.

Triplets.

Yes, triplets. I keep saying it over and over again cause may be it will sink in one of these times. We are in total shock. Not that we didn't go into this knowing it was a possibility, but it was a remote one so we just thought.. naw! It won't happen to us! For those of you wondering, yes, we did but in 2 blasts and one pre blast at the IVF transfer. But since we put two in last time, we really were not expecting any, let alone triplets!

And actually, only two of the three did stick. One of them split and we are having identical twins and then a spare!

We are absolutely thrilled to be expecting, don't get me wrong. But we are seriously freaking out. Jeff is more like.. omg.. the $$... the daycare, we need a new house, car.. all those fun things. And I am worried about.. how the hell do I get all three of these babies safely into the world? How?? And if a triplet pregnancy weren't scary enough, my RE thinks the identicals are mono to mono twins. This means they are in the same sack and even though they are identical, they should have their own sack. The risk is that their ambilical cords could tangle and that would be very bad. It would mean immediate delivery. ugh. I can't even think about it, it scares me to death.
It's early so hopefully the membrane separating the twins will eventually show up and I can have one less thing to stress about.

Usually with a triplet pregnancy, you have to go to the Dr. every other week. Because of the mono thing.. I go every week for the duration or until they see a membrane. I will be watched like a hawk. They said I should probably prepare to be on bedrest by 20 weeks. omg. I will be in bed by August!

There is just soooo much to process. I am already exhausted by it. I hardly slept last night. My mind was every where.

I think the best part of yesterday was the heartbeats. We not only got to see them, we heard them!! At 7 weeks!!! They were beating away.. all 3 at 125 bpm!! I was totally overwhelmed with joy.

My cup truly runeth over!!

Still pluggin' along..

So I will be 6 weeks pregnant tomorrow. And it's been... um... Dare I say... uneventful?

*knocking very hard on wood*

I thought when I got pregnant I would be blogging every single day recording exactly what was going on in my body so I could remember every single moment. But the reality is that I am so scared to pieces that I am going to lose this pregnancy too and be stuck reading all about it later that this is my first entry since I found out I was pregnant. I've been kind of a nut case about this. I have moments where I am almost cocky. Like.. of course this pregnancy will work! It has to! I've paid my dues, right??

Then there are the other moments where I am a raving lunatic and can think of nothing but the moment I will lose this pregnancy too. Where will I be? What will I be doing? How will I react? In fact, last Monday when I got my second beta results, I had a nervous breakdown that night. And my results were wonderful. My beta was doubling just perfect with a 45 hour time frame on them. Still... this wasn't good enough. They doubled last time and we all know how that turned out.

So the nurse told me there were thrilled my with my beta's, I didn't need another and they would see me on the 14th for my ultrasound. Till then, I will rejoice in the moment. I am pregnant. And I should get used to saying that right?

My symptoms have been pretty mild so far. I get crampy alot. They feel as though aunt flo will be here any second although they are not painful and do not last longer than a minute or two. They come and go. Nothing big. I am told this is my uterus stretching. I sure hope so! I also wake up to pee like clockwork at 4 am every single frickin night now. And sometimes twice a night. I haven't made it through the night in two weeks now. Last but not least, I am crazy hungry. Like every 2-3 hours I have to eat something. This will be great for my ass for sure! But like most infertiles, I am still hoping for a good bout of morning sickness or any time nausea to really prove to me that I am pregnant. Ya know.. cause the 7th pregnancy test I took as recently as two days ago is not proof enough. I want to throw up too!

So that's it for now. I am still pregnant. Still so thankful and still praying it sticks.