Man.. I am starting to show already. The nurse said that by 10 weeks I should be popping out quite a bit so get ready. That the normal person most likely starts to show around 13-15.. I need to back that up a few weeks. I've been wearing nothing but stretchy things and draw string cargo pants.
I actually allowed myself to walk into a maternity store for the first time in my life on Friday. I went in and bought a bella band so I could still wear my jeans. It was like entering into a new club I had never been allowed to join before. There were so many cute little pregnant women in there looking fabulous. I sorta felt like a member, but who am I kidding. I might be sort cute during this pregnancy for about 5 weeks and then I am just going to be a whale. But that's ok. I'll be a whale if that means I have 3 healthy children.
On that note, I see the RE again on Tuesday and will have another ultrasound with him. Then, I have my first appointment with the Perinatologist/MFM on Friday. This pregnancy will certainly be a whirlwind of Dr. appointments. I am trying to stay positive but it has a healthy side of worry. I am worried enough with this whole mono to mono twin thing. I have been trying to block it out. If I don't, I get beside myself.
I am also going to speak to one or both of my Dr's about getting a note from work. I hate my job on a normal day (ok.. sans the 100% IVF coverage and healthy chunk of $ they pay me) and lately.. it's been unbearable. Someone quit at work and they've dumped 80% of her work on me + another client. I was working 45-50 hours a week before this all happened. And if I hear my boss say to me one more time that they are really looking to lean on me to step up and get all this done, I am really going to lose my shit. I wanted to scream at him on Friday.. were you not fucking present at the conversation I had with you on Tuesday that I have just entered into a horribly difficult high risk pregnancy?????? Did you hear a word I said? I almost lost it on him. But I checked myself for a moment and remembered: I could very well be out of there for 8 months to a year in the next 12 weeks. I just need to let my Dr's do the talking for me. So I love that I will be asking for a note already that says I am not to work more than 40 hours per week.
On the positive.. it's been a real hoot telling people I am pregnant with triplets! I should have brought a camera around with me. It's been just hilarious!
Ok.. off for some pie tonight. Have I mentioned I am an eating machine??? LOL
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
So much for uneventful!!!
Well, we've had quite the 24 hours. We had our first ultrasound yesterday at 6 weeks 6 days.
Triplets.
Yes, triplets. I keep saying it over and over again cause may be it will sink in one of these times. We are in total shock. Not that we didn't go into this knowing it was a possibility, but it was a remote one so we just thought.. naw! It won't happen to us! For those of you wondering, yes, we did but in 2 blasts and one pre blast at the IVF transfer. But since we put two in last time, we really were not expecting any, let alone triplets!
And actually, only two of the three did stick. One of them split and we are having identical twins and then a spare!
We are absolutely thrilled to be expecting, don't get me wrong. But we are seriously freaking out. Jeff is more like.. omg.. the $$... the daycare, we need a new house, car.. all those fun things. And I am worried about.. how the hell do I get all three of these babies safely into the world? How?? And if a triplet pregnancy weren't scary enough, my RE thinks the identicals are mono to mono twins. This means they are in the same sack and even though they are identical, they should have their own sack. The risk is that their ambilical cords could tangle and that would be very bad. It would mean immediate delivery. ugh. I can't even think about it, it scares me to death.
It's early so hopefully the membrane separating the twins will eventually show up and I can have one less thing to stress about.
Usually with a triplet pregnancy, you have to go to the Dr. every other week. Because of the mono thing.. I go every week for the duration or until they see a membrane. I will be watched like a hawk. They said I should probably prepare to be on bedrest by 20 weeks. omg. I will be in bed by August!
There is just soooo much to process. I am already exhausted by it. I hardly slept last night. My mind was every where.
I think the best part of yesterday was the heartbeats. We not only got to see them, we heard them!! At 7 weeks!!! They were beating away.. all 3 at 125 bpm!! I was totally overwhelmed with joy.
My cup truly runeth over!!
Triplets.
Yes, triplets. I keep saying it over and over again cause may be it will sink in one of these times. We are in total shock. Not that we didn't go into this knowing it was a possibility, but it was a remote one so we just thought.. naw! It won't happen to us! For those of you wondering, yes, we did but in 2 blasts and one pre blast at the IVF transfer. But since we put two in last time, we really were not expecting any, let alone triplets!
And actually, only two of the three did stick. One of them split and we are having identical twins and then a spare!
We are absolutely thrilled to be expecting, don't get me wrong. But we are seriously freaking out. Jeff is more like.. omg.. the $$... the daycare, we need a new house, car.. all those fun things. And I am worried about.. how the hell do I get all three of these babies safely into the world? How?? And if a triplet pregnancy weren't scary enough, my RE thinks the identicals are mono to mono twins. This means they are in the same sack and even though they are identical, they should have their own sack. The risk is that their ambilical cords could tangle and that would be very bad. It would mean immediate delivery. ugh. I can't even think about it, it scares me to death.
It's early so hopefully the membrane separating the twins will eventually show up and I can have one less thing to stress about.
Usually with a triplet pregnancy, you have to go to the Dr. every other week. Because of the mono thing.. I go every week for the duration or until they see a membrane. I will be watched like a hawk. They said I should probably prepare to be on bedrest by 20 weeks. omg. I will be in bed by August!
There is just soooo much to process. I am already exhausted by it. I hardly slept last night. My mind was every where.
I think the best part of yesterday was the heartbeats. We not only got to see them, we heard them!! At 7 weeks!!! They were beating away.. all 3 at 125 bpm!! I was totally overwhelmed with joy.
My cup truly runeth over!!
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Still pluggin' along..
So I will be 6 weeks pregnant tomorrow. And it's been... um... Dare I say... uneventful?
*knocking very hard on wood*
I thought when I got pregnant I would be blogging every single day recording exactly what was going on in my body so I could remember every single moment. But the reality is that I am so scared to pieces that I am going to lose this pregnancy too and be stuck reading all about it later that this is my first entry since I found out I was pregnant. I've been kind of a nut case about this. I have moments where I am almost cocky. Like.. of course this pregnancy will work! It has to! I've paid my dues, right??
Then there are the other moments where I am a raving lunatic and can think of nothing but the moment I will lose this pregnancy too. Where will I be? What will I be doing? How will I react? In fact, last Monday when I got my second beta results, I had a nervous breakdown that night. And my results were wonderful. My beta was doubling just perfect with a 45 hour time frame on them. Still... this wasn't good enough. They doubled last time and we all know how that turned out.
So the nurse told me there were thrilled my with my beta's, I didn't need another and they would see me on the 14th for my ultrasound. Till then, I will rejoice in the moment. I am pregnant. And I should get used to saying that right?
My symptoms have been pretty mild so far. I get crampy alot. They feel as though aunt flo will be here any second although they are not painful and do not last longer than a minute or two. They come and go. Nothing big. I am told this is my uterus stretching. I sure hope so! I also wake up to pee like clockwork at 4 am every single frickin night now. And sometimes twice a night. I haven't made it through the night in two weeks now. Last but not least, I am crazy hungry. Like every 2-3 hours I have to eat something. This will be great for my ass for sure! But like most infertiles, I am still hoping for a good bout of morning sickness or any time nausea to really prove to me that I am pregnant. Ya know.. cause the 7th pregnancy test I took as recently as two days ago is not proof enough. I want to throw up too!
So that's it for now. I am still pregnant. Still so thankful and still praying it sticks.
*knocking very hard on wood*
I thought when I got pregnant I would be blogging every single day recording exactly what was going on in my body so I could remember every single moment. But the reality is that I am so scared to pieces that I am going to lose this pregnancy too and be stuck reading all about it later that this is my first entry since I found out I was pregnant. I've been kind of a nut case about this. I have moments where I am almost cocky. Like.. of course this pregnancy will work! It has to! I've paid my dues, right??
Then there are the other moments where I am a raving lunatic and can think of nothing but the moment I will lose this pregnancy too. Where will I be? What will I be doing? How will I react? In fact, last Monday when I got my second beta results, I had a nervous breakdown that night. And my results were wonderful. My beta was doubling just perfect with a 45 hour time frame on them. Still... this wasn't good enough. They doubled last time and we all know how that turned out.
So the nurse told me there were thrilled my with my beta's, I didn't need another and they would see me on the 14th for my ultrasound. Till then, I will rejoice in the moment. I am pregnant. And I should get used to saying that right?
My symptoms have been pretty mild so far. I get crampy alot. They feel as though aunt flo will be here any second although they are not painful and do not last longer than a minute or two. They come and go. Nothing big. I am told this is my uterus stretching. I sure hope so! I also wake up to pee like clockwork at 4 am every single frickin night now. And sometimes twice a night. I haven't made it through the night in two weeks now. Last but not least, I am crazy hungry. Like every 2-3 hours I have to eat something. This will be great for my ass for sure! But like most infertiles, I am still hoping for a good bout of morning sickness or any time nausea to really prove to me that I am pregnant. Ya know.. cause the 7th pregnancy test I took as recently as two days ago is not proof enough. I want to throw up too!
So that's it for now. I am still pregnant. Still so thankful and still praying it sticks.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Shock
The cycle that I wrote off has worked! I am pregnant! I keep saying it over and over again and to Jeff and we both still feel like we are talking about someone else. Surely this isn't us? Surely this good luck that we have been utterly blessed with isn't us?
I cannot be the one who got a faint bfp at 5dp5dt and then an unmistakeable one at 8dp5dt and then a line darker than the control line at 9dp5dt???? And at 11dp5dt got a beta of 239, progesterone at 200+ and estrogen over 2000??? Surely.. this cannot be me???
I am just in shock.
As my experience has jaded me, I am still in defensive mode and am having a hard time believing and celebrating. Don't get me wrong, when I saw that line turn as soon as the pee hit the stick at 8dp5dt (I didn't test the two days in between days 10 and 13), I had a an absolute crying fit. And on Easter Sunday no less. I was sobbing. This can't be for real. This can't be me. To say we are thrilled would be the understatement of the year. We are overjoyed. To say we want this child would be next understatement of the year. We are dying to be parents. To love a child. Our very own child. The biological child I have seen slip away from me over the past 8 months. It might actually happen now.
I am just in shock.
I hope that I soon believe that this wonderful blessing, this glorious gift from above is really mine. Mine to keep this time.
I cannot be the one who got a faint bfp at 5dp5dt and then an unmistakeable one at 8dp5dt and then a line darker than the control line at 9dp5dt???? And at 11dp5dt got a beta of 239, progesterone at 200+ and estrogen over 2000??? Surely.. this cannot be me???
I am just in shock.
As my experience has jaded me, I am still in defensive mode and am having a hard time believing and celebrating. Don't get me wrong, when I saw that line turn as soon as the pee hit the stick at 8dp5dt (I didn't test the two days in between days 10 and 13), I had a an absolute crying fit. And on Easter Sunday no less. I was sobbing. This can't be for real. This can't be me. To say we are thrilled would be the understatement of the year. We are overjoyed. To say we want this child would be next understatement of the year. We are dying to be parents. To love a child. Our very own child. The biological child I have seen slip away from me over the past 8 months. It might actually happen now.
I am just in shock.
I hope that I soon believe that this wonderful blessing, this glorious gift from above is really mine. Mine to keep this time.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
And the embabies have landed..
The transfer went good. God.. I hate that big ass speculum. That and I guess my bladder was TOO full so Dr. A made me get all in position on the table, checked it and twice I had to get up and go pee to get rid of some of it!! Fun.
Anyhow.. when we got there, we were told that of the 8 that had fertilized we had:
2 blasts
3 pre-blasts
2 morula's (which are pre pre blast, LOL)
1 of the 8 had finally pooped out
We were very happy to hear that. Beats the crap out of my first IVF cycle for sure! He said they are going to freeze on day 6 this time so I should get my freeze report in the next couple days, but he said the rest were all in a sort of pre blast stage so he expected most, if not all of them to be frozen. That would be nice to have 4 more snowbabies for use at some point if we need them.
So then came the conversation of "how many". Dh and I decided that we would let the Dr. make the call. He did.
Three.
We put in the 2 blasts and the most advanced pre blast.
For 3 reasons. 1) b/c Ivf is the only way I can ever get pregnant. 2) I have already had a failed IVF with 2 blasts, and 3) my age.
He said he really believes this is going to work and he also said that with the quality of these embabies, we walked out of there with a freakin 10% chance of triplets. So I am 50% freaked out by the triplet possibility and 50% like.. yeah right, been here before and I still have no baby(s) so why would this time be different?
I made a comment to that effect as we were waiting the customary half hour on the table after the transfer. It was the first time in this whole process of IVF 1 or 2 that I have seen Jeff get choked up. He asked me to please not say anything negative in his presence or the presence of his embabies. I know he wants to be a dad.. bad. But he is usually so good at hiding his hurt and fears to keep me strong. Today.. I felt how bad this is affecting him too. He really wants this work. Which of course just makes me feel more like a total defective failure.
So tonight I did PIO shot #2. My ass has hardly recovered from the first one. Thank god I only have to do them every third day. But I have the suppositories 3 times a day. I also had to do half of another trigger shot or booster as they call it now. So I had a huge needle in both of my butt cheeks tonight. It was fabulous.
Now the waiting begins.
Anyhow.. when we got there, we were told that of the 8 that had fertilized we had:
2 blasts
3 pre-blasts
2 morula's (which are pre pre blast, LOL)
1 of the 8 had finally pooped out
We were very happy to hear that. Beats the crap out of my first IVF cycle for sure! He said they are going to freeze on day 6 this time so I should get my freeze report in the next couple days, but he said the rest were all in a sort of pre blast stage so he expected most, if not all of them to be frozen. That would be nice to have 4 more snowbabies for use at some point if we need them.
So then came the conversation of "how many". Dh and I decided that we would let the Dr. make the call. He did.
Three.
We put in the 2 blasts and the most advanced pre blast.
For 3 reasons. 1) b/c Ivf is the only way I can ever get pregnant. 2) I have already had a failed IVF with 2 blasts, and 3) my age.
He said he really believes this is going to work and he also said that with the quality of these embabies, we walked out of there with a freakin 10% chance of triplets. So I am 50% freaked out by the triplet possibility and 50% like.. yeah right, been here before and I still have no baby(s) so why would this time be different?
I made a comment to that effect as we were waiting the customary half hour on the table after the transfer. It was the first time in this whole process of IVF 1 or 2 that I have seen Jeff get choked up. He asked me to please not say anything negative in his presence or the presence of his embabies. I know he wants to be a dad.. bad. But he is usually so good at hiding his hurt and fears to keep me strong. Today.. I felt how bad this is affecting him too. He really wants this work. Which of course just makes me feel more like a total defective failure.
So tonight I did PIO shot #2. My ass has hardly recovered from the first one. Thank god I only have to do them every third day. But I have the suppositories 3 times a day. I also had to do half of another trigger shot or booster as they call it now. So I had a huge needle in both of my butt cheeks tonight. It was fabulous.
Now the waiting begins.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Doing 5 day transfer
Got the call about 8:30 this morning. Being pushed to a 5 day transfer. I was told that all 8 of my embryo's are still going strong.
I seriously find this very hard to believe.
Ah well, sending all my love and positive vibes to my little embabies who are currently residing in a petri dish some 20 miles north of me right now.
I seriously find this very hard to believe.
Ah well, sending all my love and positive vibes to my little embabies who are currently residing in a petri dish some 20 miles north of me right now.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Fert Report
And it's good this time! It's a freakin miracle.
13 eggs
9 mature
8 fertilized normally
I am thrilled with these results. I have to remember that my ovaries are 35 years old. Thus, I will not get 20 eggs of a 20 something year old. It just won't happen. So I have to be and am thrilled with these results. Although.. again, I am knocking on wood cause I feel like.. this is going to smoothly. When is the rug going to get pulled out from under me? Oh well.. until then, I am going to roll with it.
So I am still sore. So sore.. it's actually scaring me a bit. I am sure I don't have OHSS but man.. I did NOT feel like this the last time around. It hurts to walk, laugh, sit. ugh. I am really uncomfortable. I am praying for a 5 day transfer if only to let my body recover from the ER.
My friend Beebe929 got some rough news on her embryo's today. I am sure she is terrifed. Sending one up to the big guy for her.
13 eggs
9 mature
8 fertilized normally
I am thrilled with these results. I have to remember that my ovaries are 35 years old. Thus, I will not get 20 eggs of a 20 something year old. It just won't happen. So I have to be and am thrilled with these results. Although.. again, I am knocking on wood cause I feel like.. this is going to smoothly. When is the rug going to get pulled out from under me? Oh well.. until then, I am going to roll with it.
So I am still sore. So sore.. it's actually scaring me a bit. I am sure I don't have OHSS but man.. I did NOT feel like this the last time around. It hurts to walk, laugh, sit. ugh. I am really uncomfortable. I am praying for a 5 day transfer if only to let my body recover from the ER.
My friend Beebe929 got some rough news on her embryo's today. I am sure she is terrifed. Sending one up to the big guy for her.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)